Ten Reasons Why
by FriendsWithTheMonster
Summary: An algebra assignment, a three leaf clover, an air freshener, a prescription bottle, a Star Wars trading card, a bottle cap, a tube of lip balm, a toy car, a photograph and a roll of candy. These are the ten reasons why…Stiles/OC
1. Prologue

_**Ten Reasons Why**_

_Summary:__ An algebra assignment, a three leaf clover, an air freshener, a prescription bottle, a Star Wars trading card, a bottle cap, a tube of lip balm, a toy car, a photograph and a roll of candy. These are the ten reasons why…_

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters of Teen Wolf, London however is all mine.**

**Prologue**_**:**_

Stiles was ready to crawl into bed and sleep away the last night of his summer vacation. It's not like he would have spent the last night of break with anyone other than Scott but he was finally glad to be home, near his bed, where he would gladly collapse into the covers and pass out until his alarm went off the next morning alerting him that he needed to go to school.

School: the one place where Stiles wasn't entirely sure if he'd be able to please everyone anymore.

On one hand he had Scott and the gang; Lydia, Allison, even Isaac, but on the other hand he had London, the girl he had spent just as much time with over the summer as he did with Scott. The girl who he considered one of his best friends. But the two hands would never mesh well together, would they? He had worked hard most of the summer to keep London apart from the rest of his friends.

He had, successfully for the most part, kept her separate from his other friends over the summer but not because he was ashamed of her or anything; it was quite the opposite really. He knew London wasn't the type of girl to embrace social situations with open arms and to get her involved with him and Scott as much as they hung out would be overwhelming for most people, let alone a girl who was perfectly content curled up in her room with a good book, easily avoiding human interaction completely.

So Stiles had made sure to keep London apart from the rest of the gang and especially the werewolves. Scott had met the girl, they had hung out a few times together but it wasn't too often and Stiles generally tried to keep it light when London was with him.

Glancing up at the darkening night sky, Stiles wandered up to the front of his house. He couldn't help but smile at the memories from the decent summer he had just experienced. Him and Scott had worked relentlessly on their lacrosse skills, Scott proving to be the better player, but then again he had werewolf superpowers, Stiles would have been embarrassed _for_ his friend if he wasn't the top player out of the duo.

When he wasn't with Scott, he often found himself with London, simply walking around the town, taking in the beauty of his surroundings, something he hadn't paid much attention to until he met the girl.

Slowly opening the door, Stiles stepped into the front hallway and flipped off his tennis shoes. He tucked his hands into the pockets on his jeans and lazily strolled further into the house, his eyes landing on his father, Sheriff John Stilinski, who sat on the couch in the living room. The older Stilinski's eyes met Stiles' and he forced a tired smile at his son, apparently it had been a pretty tiring night for the Sheriff of Beacon Hills as well.

"Hey dad." Stiles offered up, pulling his hand out of his pocket and tossing his dad a wave. He paused just outside the living room but close enough so that him and his dad could communicate without having to yell.

His dad nodded his greeting and immediately changed the subject, "there's a box for you in the kitchen. That girl you've been hanging around with a lot lately dropped it off while you were out with Scott."

Stiles just stared at his dad now, a confused look etched onto his features. Why on earth would London drop a box off at his house? She hadn't mentioned anything about a box and he wasn't expecting a package. Had he unknowingly asked for something from her and this was it?

Stiles thought a little bit more about what his dad had just said, such a simple statement yet Stiles found himself utterly confused and wondering more about the box in question, as well as the girl who dropped it off, instead of how his first day back at school would go.

"A box?" Stiles managed to get the words out and his dad simply shrugged at the question. "From London?"

"She just said to make sure you got it, seemed important that you knew."

Stiles knew better than to press his dad with more questions, especially when it was clear that he didn't know much about the topic at hand. London would have told the Sheriff all she wanted him to know and his dad wasn't the type of person to leave out important pieces of information, such as words that the girl would have uttered, or anything more than the instruction to 'make sure Stiles got it'. He was a Sheriff after all and John Stilinski prided himself in keeping the details straight.

Without another word exchanged between the two, Stiles turned away from the living room and situated his body in the direction of the kitchen, the excitement of having an unexpected box waiting for him was almost too much to handle. It was hard for him not to just jog into the other room but Stiles remained composed and walked briskly across the hallway, heading for the room in question.

"A box waiting for me in the kitchen." Stiles mumbled to himself but continued to move forward, intrigued by the prospect.

What kind of box was it? A shoebox, a giant box, one he could turn into a fort or rocket ship? And what was in the box? Shoes maybe, items that Stiles and London had gathered over the summer, maybe she was even giving him a present? If she was giving him a present, well what on earth could she have possibly gotten him? It wasn't his birthday and there were no special occasions to be celebrated. There were too many unanswered questions and the only way to find out what the heck London's plan was, was to head into the kitchen and find out for himself.

His eyes immediately landed on the shoebox, but not just a plain Jane, boring old shoebox. No, London had taken the time to wrap the lid and the bottom in deep navy wrapping paper with twinkling silver star accents, as though the paper designers were attempting to give people a taste of the night sky to wrap gifts with. It certainly gave the box an enchanting feel, that much was for sure, it looked as though it belonged in a fairytale, perhaps in a Princess's possession.

There was no bow, no seams even and when Stiles closed the distance between himself and the box, which was residing in the center of the table, taunting him now, he ran his fingers along the edges of the lid and took a deep breath. Whatever was in this box was something special and Stiles couldn't even begin to dream up what it could possibly be.

London was almost always surprising him, whether it was with her profound theories on life (or death), or her words of wisdom that she seemed to have tucked away for the exact situation that Stiles brought up in conversation. Yes, London always had something amazing to say, but then again, so did he, it was one of the main reasons why they had become such good friends so easily.

She had always told him that he was a better person than he believed, always trying to convince him that he deserved better than what he expected. Stiles knew he wasn't a bad person, not by any means, but everyone makes mistakes? London was the first to admit that, hell she had made enough mistakes in her time to last forever, at least that's what she had told him. He would never fault anyone for making an honest mistake, as long as they owned up to it and asked for forgiveness when necessary, there was no reason to.

Stiles sucked in a deep breath and quickly flipped the lid off the shoebox, setting it down gently on the table next to the bottom of the box. He couldn't help but smile at the inside, which had been decorated with the same care as the outside.

Crisp white and pastel blue tissue paper lined the inside walls of the box, again, Stiles couldn't find any seems, not until he looked into the corners of the box, as well as the lid, but even so, they were perfectly aligned, straight, neat edges. Yes, whatever was in the box was certainly something very important to London, what other reason would she have had to be so meticulous, so flawless in the decorating of a box. Stiles silently vowed to make sure he treated the box, and the contents, with the care it deserved.

"Oh boy." Stiles let out a low whistle and brushed a piece of white tissue paper aside. It didn't look like much, and there certainly wasn't any big, elaborate gift for him inside, but Stiles knew that whatever was contained in the small stack of envelopes would easily hold answers to some of his most profound questions surrounding London.

He dug into the box and freed the stack of envelopes, ten in all, from the tissue paper covered walls. A navy blue ribbon was tied around the stack, a nice, neat bow adorning the front where Stiles could easily see a fancy handwritten number '1' scribed just underneath it. He took the envelopes in his one hand and gently flipped through them, spotting a number on each of the remaining paper shells. The envelopes were numbered one through ten.

When he peered back into the box, Stiles took note that there were corresponding packages. A couple small boxes, a few more envelopes, although those ones looked more like greeting card envelopes than the letter sized envelopes in his hand, there was even a cylinder shaped present wrapped in the same paper as the box, a giant number ten glaring at him from the paper holding the contents hidden inside.

With as much care as he could muster, Stiles gently setting the envelopes back inside the box and began searching for some sort of instructions, or guidance pertaining what he was supposed to do with the box as well as the contents inside. Maybe it was as obvious as it seemed, read the letters in order, maybe instructions for the accessories were inside the envelopes? But would London really let him just try to figure it out, she had to have some sort of introduction to whatever this was, whatever this box contained, right?

"Okay London, what are you trying to do here?" Stiles muttered to himself and he pressed his palms against the sides of the bottom of the box. He lifted it up and peered at the underside, hoping that maybe there was something there that could help him figure out what the heck she was trying to do. He found nothing on the bottom, nothing for him to go on.

Stiles set the box back on the table and grabbed hold of the lid, twisting it in his hand so that he was looking at the inside of the lid now, a small note with his name written on it stared right back at him, a single piece of scotch tape holding it securely to the lid.

As carefully and cautiously as he could, so as not to wreck the wrapping of the box, Stiles peeled the tape away from the underside of the lid. He was definitely curious now, what the heck was London trying to pull here, what was her goal of the box and what did it have to do with Stiles? What did it all mean?

Managing to free the note without too much damage to the décor of the interior of the box, Stiles cocked his head to the side and flipped the note over in his hand, trying to gauge what it might say before he actually opened it. It was a single piece of lined paper folded three times, with nothing on the outside except for his name. Stiles let out a sigh and hesitated for a split second before opening the note.

Every single word on the page was handwritten by London perfectly. There wasn't a single word scratched out or any sort of distortion to any of her handwritten letters. It was, simply put, flawless.

He locked his eyes on the top of the page and noticed the date, today's date, scribed in the top, right corner of the page.

"This is what you've been up to all day, writing me a letter?" He scoffed but tried to hide his amusement.

Without any further hesitations, Stiles began to read.

_Stiles,_

_I can't guarantee that you'll completely understand this, or why I did what I did but all you really need to know is that you are the reason for my future._

_It's not hard to figure out, especially for someone as smart as you, but you know me too well to simply dive into this box without taking the time to learn about what the purpose really is. So here it is: this box has been given to you to explain how you saved my life._

_In case you haven't figured it out yet, the box I mean, it's easy, really easy actually. You start with the envelope labeled with the number one, open it, read it, heed the advice contained within and understand what I've written to you. As for the rest of the wrapped items in the box, you can open the corresponding trinket (yes, let's call the trinkets) before, during, or after you've opened the letter, it doesn't matter, but you have to know that the item wrapped separately holds an important piece of the letter to which the number corresponds._

_There's no time frame on when you read the letters, you can read them all at once, in order of course, or you can spread them out over a long period of time. Maybe you want to save them and read them on special occasions (like Christmas or your birthday), hey maybe you'll even stay up late tonight and devour each and every word contained on the pages that I have written and sealed within the envelopes. _

_Whatever you choose to do Stiles, I leave that up to you. There are no rules except for one and this one rule is very important. You have to read the letters in order. That's it, that's your one and only guideline._

_That being said Stiles, there's just one last thing you need to know about this box and everything inside of it. No matter what happens, no matter what you read or what I say to you through my letters, you are allowed to feel whatever it is that you feel. If you find yourself blind with rage, that's okay, you're allowed to be mad and you're certainly allowed to be mad __**at**__ me. If you find that you can't contain your laughter, even if something's not really all that particularly funny, I won't judge you. They're your emotions and you're allowed to experience them as they come._

_You are one of the single most important people in my life and maybe this will help you understand why. I really do believe that you're a good person and maybe I didn't necessarily deserve you in my life but there's things that you don't know, things contained in the letters that will explain why I owe my life to you._

_So thank you Stiles, I hope you know how amazing you really are._

_Regards,_

_London Lee Parker_

Stiles flipped the sheet over in a desperate attempt at a search for more words. He found none. It was as though he were a starving child and she provided him with a mere taste of food. He knew he wanted more.

Dropping his eyes to the inside of the box, he let out a huff. London knew him better than almost anyone at this point (aside from maybe Scott), there was no way he was going to leave the box until the next day, let along leave the letters for special occasions. He would most likely stay up late into the night 'devouring' the letters like she had so eloquently put it. No, this was just plain cruel, yet at the same time, Stiles could hardly contain his excitement. This whole entire box was a heartless idea but it was also terribly exciting and Stiles couldn't wait to delve into it, to find out what she so desperately felt the need to write down.

"Hey dad!" Stiles called out from his place in the kitchen, his eyes still locked onto the box. His ears were perked and listening for a response from the living room.

"Yeah?" His dad's voice was strong and firm and Stiles' easily heard from down the hall.

"I'm uh, going to be in my room getting ready for tomorrow. If you need me for anything, just let me know, okay?"

"Sure thing!"

Stiles tucked the introduction letter on top of the rest of the envelopes before slipping the lid on and sealing the box shut. It looked exactly the same as when he originally walked into the kitchen, when he had laid his eyes on it for the first time.

He tucked it under his arm and turned on his heels, quickly making his way out of the kitchen and up the stairs and into his room where he promptly shut the door, carefully of course, before stepping towards his bed and setting the box down extremely gingerly, as though it were made of the finest glass and would break at any sudden movement.

The lid came off and Stiles set it against his pillows as he climbed onto his bed and sat down cross legged right in the middle of his comforter. He ran his fingers along the edge of the box and took a deep breath, preparing himself for whatever the letters contained.

He didn't know it at that second, but nothing would have been able to prepare himself for what London had to say.


	2. Letter Number 1

_**Ten Reasons Why**_

_Summary:__ An algebra assignment, a three leaf clover, an air freshener, a prescription bottle, a Star Wars trading card, a bottle cap, a tube of lip balm, a toy car, a photograph and a roll of candy. These are the ten reasons why…_

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters of Teen Wolf, London however is all mine.**

_**Letter Number 1**_

Stiles grabbed the pile of letters and gingerly tugged at the end of the navy blue ribbon. The elaborate bow that had held them together slowly became unknotted and when the piece of material hung limply from his hand holding the letters, he let out a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding. The intensity of the entire situation hit him at that moment. Whatever London had to say must be important, why else would she have gone through all the trouble to make everything look so elegant?

Taking the envelope with the number '1' marked on it off the top, he very carefully put the remaining letters back inside the perfectly wrapped box and pushed it to the side of his bed. The pillows conformed to his shoulders precisely as he laid down against his mattress, clutching the envelope in his hands. He took a deep breath and tried to prepare himself for whatever was inside.

His nerves were shot as Stiles' greedily ripped the flap of the envelope away from the rest of it. The edges of the once pristine paper were now ripped, jagged, rough and suddenly Stiles felt a little guilty for being so impatient. London had put way too much effort into whatever the box was just to have him rip and shred the contents inside.

Making a mental note to be way more careful with the next one, Stiles set the letter, still in the envelope, on the covers next to him and reached back into the box to find the corresponding, what was it that London had called them, oh right, trinkets. Stiles reached into the shoe box wrapped in silver star wrapping paper and searched for the trinket with the number '1' on it.

He pulled out another envelope, this one seemed more suited for a greeting card though and Stiles couldn't help but wonder what the hell the entire box was supposed to mean. Okay, yes she had said that he saved her life and that he was the reason for her future but what did that mean exactly?

"Scissors." He muttered to himself and quickly shot upright, flinging his legs to the side. Making his way to his feet, Stiles scrambled across the room towards his desk and locked his eyes on the handle to the pair of scissors that resided in his cup holder, which was placed appropriately near his laptop.

His lanky fingers slipped through the holes on the handle and with swift movements, Stiles pulled the scissors free from the cup. With a celebratory fist pump into the air, he quickly moved back to his bed and climbed back into the pillows, twisting his body so that his shoulders, once again, sunk into the pillows.

"All right, let's do this." He murmured and readied the scissors in his one hand, holding the letter and the trinket envelope in the other.

He shoved the pointier tip of the scissors under the flap and pulled upwards creating an opening for him to slip the one side of the sharpened metal inside the envelope. Using the blade as a letter opener, Stiles cut open the envelope with a smile. Yes, the crisp, clean edge looked much better than the ripped jagged one of the letter he had opened not too long ago.

Stiles pulled the folded piece of paper out of the clean cut envelope and unfolded it, studying what was on it. The simple lined piece of paper, three holes adorning the side, seemed normal and Stiles found that he was almost disappointed. The more he studied it, looking at the numbers and letters on the sheet, the more he realized that this wasn't anything that held the secrets to the universe, no this was London's algebra homework, the very assignment that he had helped her with.

He let out a huff but moved the letter into his line of sight. There was no date at the top of the page like the introduction letter, there were words scribbled out and letters that were messily written yet Stiles still felt himself being amazed at the amount of time and effort she had put into the multiple pages of the letter.

_Stiles,_

_You're probably wondering what's so special about an algebra assignment, well, let me tell you a little something about this particular assignment that no one else knows about. This assignment was the piece of paper that had escaped my grasp on my way home from school the day that I met you._

_Okay so no big deal right? So I let my assignment get carried off by the wind. It is a big deal Stiles, a huge deal in fact. That was the day that I had decided I was going to end my life._

_You're probably thinking, "oh London, don't be such a drama queen" but you have no idea what it was like inside my head. No one did and honestly, sometimes __**I**__ didn't even understand what was wrong with me. So yes, that was the day I had vowed to end it all, to say goodbye to the world and finally let the pain go._

_I was scared, who wouldn't be, but not of dying Stiles, never of dying. I was terrified that maybe death wouldn't fix it, that maybe I'd take my own life and be condemned to a hell where death was just as painful as life, although at that point I wasn't entirely sure how anything could be worse than how I felt._

_When I woke up that morning, on that day I said to myself "London, if even one person looks at you and just smiles, maybe you should reconsider this whole suicide plan" and so I headed to school with the belief that it would end up being the same, mundane, boring day filled with people pretending I wasn't around and no one bothering to look my way._

_For the most part, it __**was**__ that type of day. No one seemed to notice me, but I wasn't surprised, no one ever really noticed me, it wasn't anything unusual. I'm not stunningly gorgeous like some, Lydia Martin comes to mind. No one would ever ignore her. I'm not ugly though, I can accept that I'm average, maybe slightly below but who has the time, or the motivation, to doll themselves up only to have absolutely no one acknowledge that you're even alive? Not me Stiles, that's for sure._

_So when the bell rung at the end of that shitty, normal, usual day, I gathered all my books from my locker, shoved as many of them into my backpack as I could and took off out the back door of the school. I wanted to cut across the field, go through the forest and enjoy the pleasant sounds of nature one last time before it was all over and I'd never get to hear a bird chirp again, or see the bright blue sky above me, complete with magical white clouds. _

_Little things Stiles, I know that now but you have to appreciate the little things._

_As I was making my way across the field, one of my algebra notes fell out of my text book. I groaned thinking no one was around and when I went to bend down to pick it up, the breeze (which had been gently blowing all day) picked it up and sent it soaring back in the direction of the school. I mean it seems stupid now that I think about it, chasing down algebra homework when I planned to kill myself just hours later but I guess part of me didn't want to litter. God forbid I tarnish the environment; I didn't need any more reasons to end up in hell._

_So I tried to run after it but I was bogged down with all of my textbooks, some in my backpack, more in my arms, and I was starting to believe that my attempt to actually catch it was becoming hopeless but see, that's when everything changed Stiles, that's when you looked at me._

_It seems like it would be easy, brushing it off and pretending it never happened. Who would know that I broke a deal with myself, no one would have to know that someone actually did look at me, I could have gone home and continued with the plan to free myself from the mental prison I was stuck in, but I didn't. I stayed true to my word and for that you deserve all the praise that I can give._

"_You dropped this." That's what you said, that's what came out of your mouth as you stomped your foot down onto the algebra assignment to stop it from getting any farther away from me. Then you did something I never expected anyone to do and even though it was the simplest of tasks, the easiest thing ever, it still took me by surprise. You bent over and picked it up._

"_Algebra just gets away from me sometimes." I was trying to come off as confident, a little funny even but be honest Stiles, it sounded pretty lame didn't it?_

Stiles paused in his reading of the letter and let his mind travel back to that day. No he hadn't thought much about it and catching the girl's homework had been something he would have done for anyone. The paper had landed on the ground right in front of him and what kind of guy wouldn't have done the exact same thing he had? Well Jackson Whittemore didn't seem like the guy to help a girl, not unless there was something he could get in return and Stiles had always thought Jackson was somewhat of a jerk.

Stiles remembered it, how their conversation had started and while he hadn't exactly laughed at her silly attempt at a joke, he was still slightly amused that she had come up with such a witty response. He hadn't really put too much thought into it but London was not the type of girl that he would ever think to label as 'lame'. Without thinking too much more about it, Stiles focused his eyes back on her handwriting and continued to read.

_So I stood there, a few feet in front of you with my books hugged to my chest mentally cursing myself for sounding like an idiot. I didn't want to meet your eyes, I didn't want to look at your face and see a scowl there or a look of amusement and not the amused look where you think I'm funny but the amused look where you look at me as though I'm some pit monkey who was put on the earth simply to entertain you. _

_But you didn't. You smiled and that was something I hadn't been expecting._

"_Is this for Shaw's class?" You asked me and I was shocked that anyone would want to speak to me any longer than they had to._

"_Yes, due tomorrow and I've got no idea what the hell is going on."_

_Then you looked down at the half empty sheet of paper, or half full depending on your outlook. Obviously I'm a pessimist, at least for the most part. The world is a shitty place, especially when you're dealing with what I'm dealing with. That's a problem for a another day, a different letter too._

"_This stuff is easy." You let out a laugh and I swear to god my heart stopped. There hadn't been anyone in my life that I could have laughed with before but there you were, standing in front of me, holding my algebra homework in your hand and laughing, not at me, not at something embarrassing I did, you were just simply laughing._

"_Well it's not easy for me." _

"_I can show you how to do it, if you want."_

_Oh Stiles, I don't think there was anything more that I ever could have wanted at that point. Here I was, on my way home to kill myself, and you were standing in front of me offering to help me with my homework that wouldn't have made it to the teacher anyways. Remember Stiles, little things._

"_It's okay, I don't want to bother you."_

_And that was a lie, the first that I ever told you. I did want to bother you, I wanted to bother you so bad it hurt. You were the first person to speak to me in a long time and I didn't want it to end. I just wanted to know that there were decent people out there in the world, that I wasn't always going to be invisible. It wasn't okay, nothing was even close to okay but you didn't know that, how could you have possibly known that. So I'm going to take this opportunity to apologize to you. I'm sorry that I lied; it's just unfortunate that that wasn't the last time it happened._

Stiles furrowed his eyebrows together and tried to think back on all of the times that he had been with London. If she lied, he didn't know it. In fact she must be a really good liar because he couldn't pinpoint a single second where he truly felt that she wasn't being honest with him. He wasn't sure whether he was supposed to be hurt because she had obviously kept some big secrets, but did that really matter?

London was his friend, she was entitled to secrets. He had his own. He had never once indulged in the world of the supernatural when he was with her, he had never even hinted that he knew anything more than being human yet werewolves were an integral part of his life. His best friend was one and maybe he trusted London enough to tell her, it didn't matter though because he didn't say a word about it to her. She had her own problems, her own issues and throwing werewolves at her probably wasn't the best idea.

Part of Stiles wanted to keep the two worlds separate too. It wasn't that he was scared that the supernatural world would harm her and it wasn't that he was worried about London exposing anything, he simply enjoyed being in London's presence without having to worry about the latest threat. She was a good companion and maybe the knowledge of werewolves would have changed how she acted around him and he really liked the way they were together.

_You have to understand though that I don't lie because I like it, it's really more of a defense mechanism. I lie and say it's okay when it's not to save myself the embarrassment of having to admit that it's not actually okay. If I don't tell people what's wrong then they can't judge me, or blame me for things that aren't necessarily my fault. So you have to know that even when I lied to you, I didn't do it to intentionally hurt your feelings, I did it so that you wouldn't get a chance to see that I'm a broken person._

_But you didn't brush me off that day, you didn't just shrug, hand me my assignment back and go on your merry little way as though the entire encounter never even happened, no. I quickly learned from that moment forward that you aren't like that, you're not the type of person who would leave me, or any human being I assume, without doing your best to help._

"_It's really not a problem, I can do this stuff in my sleep." _

_I don't doubt it Stiles, you probably could do it in your sleep. You're an extremely smart individual and don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise. I wish that people had told me things like that, sometimes all a person really wants is a little compliment. Right Stiles, it's the little things that matter._

"_Um, I mean, if you don't mind, I'd love for someone to explain it to me."_

"_Yeah, no I don't mind at all. Here, let's just go," Then you paused and you looked past me, "to the bleachers, yeah, that'll work."_

_I'm not going to lie, the second you looked past me I was afraid that it was all a big, mean joke, that you were going to take off and leave me all alone again without helping me like you said you would. Can you tell that I don't have a lot of faith in people? I don't really trust anyone, except maybe my own mother. _

_It's hard to trust people when you've been hurt as much as I have. I think my trust issues are justified. People have turned their back on me more than once, I've lost friends because they couldn't deal with the way I am. __**Family**__ turned their back on me because I wasn't as fun and excited as I had been when I was younger. It's hard to trust people when they're constantly turning on you, you get it right? I'm not a bad person for not trusting people, not even you. I hope that you aren't angry because of that, I wish I trusted you, and maybe part of me does but there's always something bad about to happen, especially when things are going so good._

_You led me to the bleachers, held my assignment in your hand, and sat down on the bench of the front row. I hesitated and I know you saw it because you smiled up at me and nodded to the piece of metal next to you. I took my chance and sat down beside you leaving a few inches of space between our bodies. This was fairly foreign to me, sitting next to someone. It had been too long, far too long, since anyone had sat beside me and forgive me if it seemed a little awkward because you know what, it was. I wasn't sure how close was too close but I didn't want to sit too far away in case you called me on it. I was nervous, excited, scared but mostly I was relieved. Someone was actually going to sit and talk with me, it didn't matter that it was over an algebra assignment. People in movies have bonded over less._

_You turned to me, smiled again and held my assignment between our bodies._

"_Proofs can be hard, trust me, my friend has no idea what's going on with them either but I taught him and now he kind of gets it. Looking at what you've got already though, you have the concept down."_

"_I do?"_

"_Oh yeah, yeah see…"_

_And then you dove right into the wonderful world of algebra. I had to explain to my mom why I was so late getting home but she wasn't mad at all, I actually think she was happier than I was. She knew what was going on in my life, maybe not to the full extent, and she understood it as best as she could. For that I am grateful. _

_You and I though, we sat on those bleachers and finished my homework together, spending time on something that hadn't even mattered mere minutes before. It would have been one of just a_ _thousand moments that I'd have just taken for granted- mostly because I had assumed that there would be a thousand more, but I knew better. It meant the world to me._

_To you, it probably doesn't look like much and maybe I should have made trinket number one a little more elaborate but honestly Stiles, that was the first time anyone had spent any time at all sitting next to me, explaining something to me and just, well, looking at me. You looked at me Stiles, you saw me when I was invisible and I have to say thank you for that. _

_Throw it out if you want, burn the assignment, I don't really care what you do with it but I kept it for months, taped it to my door, looked at it when I felt the dark feelings returning. Say what you want, claim it's just 'some silly assignment' but that was the first step, the first incident to you saving my life._

_I'm going to leave you with one final reminder: __everyone is trying to accomplish something big, not realizing that life is made up of little things. _

_See Stiles, __it's the little things that matter the most. _

_Regards,_

_London Lee Parker_

"Little things." Stiles murmured and ran his finger along the side of the letter. He lifted her algebra assignment up into the air and stared at it. Her loopy, bubbly numbers stared back at him, the very few markings of red pen from the teacher, Mr. Shaw, stood out on the page. At the top of the assignment though, where her name was scrawled in the top, right hand corner, Stiles smiled at the sight.

His name was added after hers in a different colour pen and he couldn't help but wonder if she had handed it in like that. An assignment done by 'London & Stiles'. Surely she didn't but that didn't make it any less amusing.

Realizing that he was grinning at the sight of both of their names on the assignment, Stiles found himself agreeing with London. Yes, it was definitely the little things that matter the most.

**_XxxxxxXxxxxxXxxxxxX_**

**_Author's Note:_**

**_Thank you guys all so much for reading, reviewing (special thanks to winchesterxgirl, poorxbrokexcollegexkid, TeenWolf98 and lenie954) and adding this to your favourites/alerts! I hope you enjoyed London's first letter!_**

**_I'm curious to hear what you guys are thinking so far and _****_I look forward to hearing from you guys! If you have any questions, concerns, maybe even ideas that you want to see, just leave me a review or PM me!_**

**_So thank you, from the bottom of my heart, to everyone!_**


	3. Letter Number 2

_**Ten Reasons Why**_

_Summary:__ An algebra assignment, a three leaf clover, an air freshener, a prescription bottle, a Star Wars trading card, a bottle cap, a tube of lip balm, a toy car, a photograph and a roll of candy. These are the ten reasons why…_

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters of Teen Wolf, London however is all mine.**

_**Letter Number 2**_

Learning from the first letter seemed appropriate and Stiles didn't mean the actual contents of the letter, no he was more concerned about ruining the envelope when he ripped it open and making something that had looked so perfect before into a huge, ugly mess. The jagged, uneven edges of the first envelope taunted him now, silently cursing him for taking London's pristine, well thought out box of tricks and ruining the magical feeling surrounding it.

He would definitely be using scissors from here on out.

Pulling the second letter out of the box and tucking the first one against the side, Stiles readied himself for more secrets. He knew from the second he laid his eyes on London that day that he helped her with her homework that she wasn't popular, he figured she didn't have many friends, it wasn't hard to gauge but it had shocked him to find out that she had been planning to kill herself.

There was a huge difference between lonely and suicidal and Stiles had felt that he maybe could have noticed this difference in someone. Apparently he had been wrong. London was a girl that was always around but she never really said much, was always hiding in the back corners of the classrooms. She kept to herself for the most part but that didn't mean that Stiles hadn't noticed her before.

She wasn't a 'Lydia Martin', she didn't seem to be anything special at first glance but that didn't matter, that wasn't why Stiles had never approached her before. There was just never an opportunity for him to approach her, but now he found himself wondering if he would have introduced himself anyways, given the opportunity.

London Lee Parker was an outsider, she moved quickly from class to class, always with her head down, refusing to make eye contact with anyone. There had to be a reason for that, a reason that Stiles wasn't aware of. Maybe the letters would hold the answers, maybe the letters would hold deep, terrifying reasons for London to be the way she is.

Did that make it any better though? He should have made an effort, Stiles didn't figure he was the type of guy to stand by and ignore someone when they needed a friend, or even just someone to look their way but that's exactly what he had been. London had said in the letter that he had been the first person to sit with her and talk to her, to really look at her and now, at the end of summer vacation, Stiles found himself thinking about her more often than not.

She wasn't stunningly beautiful, she wasn't the type of girl to catch anyone's eye just by walking by yet Stiles was completely hooked. She was extremely intelligent, surprisingly charming, undeniably witty and one of the most genuine people that he had ever met. So why was it that she was all alone before he had nabbed her algebra assignment off the ground and then proceeded to help her complete it?

He let out a soft sigh and ran his index finger across the front of the envelope marked with the number '2'.

"What's your secret London? What's your _real_ story?" Stiles mumbled to himself and couldn't help but think that maybe there was a darkness surrounding her life and not the supernatural kind.

Admitting, even in a letter, that you were suicidal (even if it was only at one point) was something huge and maybe it should have hit Stiles a lot harder than it had but he knew London now, knew that she wasn't alone. She'd make it, she didn't kill herself when she had planned too and any time he was near her, she seemed like she was in a decent enough mood. Happy people didn't kill themselves, did they?

The blade of the scissors sliced smoothly across the top of the envelope and Stiles gingerly set them inside the box so as not to hurt himself. He pinched the letter between his index finger and thumb and pulled it out, looking, once again, at her handwriting. Resting the letter against his chest, Stiles reached into the box and took hold of the itsy, bitsy, teeny, weeny little envelope that matched the number on the front of the envelope. It was no bigger than a playing card and that, in itself, had Stiles intrigued.

This trinket was easy enough to open, Stiles merely slipped his fingernail between the small flap of the envelope and the piece of tape holding it shut. Within seconds he had the tape free of the main part and the flap lifted up. When he pulled out the contents of what was inside, Stiles was curious as to what it meant. The letter would hopefully explain why he was looking at a laminated three leaf clover because Stiles had no idea why _that_ would be so important. Three leaf clovers were way too common and they didn't have any specialities surrounding them. Four leaf clovers were supposedly good luck but this only had three little leaves.

What the heck did it mean?

Without further ado, Stiles unfolded the letter and began to read.

_Stiles,_

_Over the last few months I've learned a bunch of things, some of them you taught me, some of them I read about in books, some of them just came to me while I was laying in my bed at night, alone with my thoughts, which was terrifying more often than not._

_Throughout these letters, I'm going to be sharing some of my new found knowledge with you. Do with it what you will, that's not up to me but don't disregard anything until you've at least mulled it over. Promise me that?_

"I promise London." Stiles whispered into the emptiness of his bedroom. It wasn't hard to go along with what she said, it seemed reasonable and there was obviously a purpose behind it.

_That's an interesting word you know, mull. Words are hard sometimes and when you have so many things building up in your head, sometimes it's hard to express what you really want to. I know that I've had my fair share of awkward moments caused by a momentary lapse in the ability to think clearly, and I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that you probably have too. It's a part of life, there isn't anyone in this world that I can think of who hasn't had that moment where they find themselves thinking 'oh shit, I shouldn't have said that' or 'dammit, that came out wrong'. Even people we view as perfect make mistakes._

_Words are just words though and there's always something that you can do to fix things, or at the very least __**try**__ to fix things. I'm not going to deny that there weren't times when I felt like maybe you should have been mad at me for the things I said and I don't feel that I made you aware of how sorry I truly felt but there's a funny thing about words sometimes: they hurt, an awful lot._

_There's a well-known saying Stiles: sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. _

_Here's what it should really say: sticks and stones may break my bones but words can rip me apart._

_Now I'm not saying that you ever said anything to tear me apart but I just want you to consider how other people might feel if and when you decide to say something that's slightly less than nice, which brings me to another saying, you're probably thinking it too._

'_If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.'_

_But I know you Stiles, you'd never intentionally hurt anyone and you certainly wouldn't do it with words but that doesn't mean it can't happen accidentally, whether you followed those sayings or not. There are two kinds of people out there, ones that __**know **__their words will hurt people and ones that don't honestly believe that they've said anything wrong._

_Wait, we're getting off track here. Words have nothing to do with trinket number two, it's just a clover, right?_

_Wrong. It's so much more than that. It's the very first thing you ever gave me that I could keep, that I could touch any time I wanted to. It was the very first thing that I could look at and go 'wow, I remember the time that I spent with Stiles right before he gave me that clover'. _

_I know what you're thinking, you're probably wondering why it's so important. It's only a three leaf clover after all and it's the ones with four leaves that are supposed to be lucky. Here we are Stiles, here's your piece of knowledge I'm about to share with you okay and it's really important and wise so listen carefully…_

_Make your own luck._

_The universe may or may not be against you and whether or not you believe in fate is a whole other story but what I can guarantee you is that you are the only person in charge of yourself and you are the only one who can change your life._

_Oh dear god, I sound like some lame motivational speaker who makes money off of people who are 'down on their luck'. I swear I'm not trying to feed you malarkey, I honestly believe that the only person who can make changes to your life is you._

_Barring any random, unforeseen circumstance, there's no way that you should let yourself live with anything less than what you think you deserve. Confused yet Stiles? Maybe if I get into the story part of this letter._

_There we were, sitting just off to the side of the lacrosse field (that's something else you taught me about Stiles, lacrosse) and I was lying in the grass staring up at the bright blue sky just thinking to myself how nice of a day it was. The clouds were white and fluffy and I can recall pointing out that the one looked exactly like an elephant. You argued and said that it barely resembled a pachyderm but that you'd let me have it anyways since there wasn't much else going on in the sky._

_You were sitting beside me running your hands through the grass. I didn't know it at the time but you were sitting near a patch of clovers and, okay so you weren't exactly doing anything different from running your hand through the grass, you were, in fact, looking for a four leaf clover because what else was there to do? Not much of anything Stiles, but it's the little things, remember that?_

_I was looking up into the sky, trying to find shapes within the clouds, that's a little thing and honestly, it brought me great joy that day. _

"_Did you know that four leaf clovers are actually mutants?" You said and it took me a few seconds to register that you had even spoken. _

_I was off in my own little world inside my head but it was different than all the other times I was stuck in my own thoughts. This time I wasn't fighting against inner demons, trying to decide if I wanted to continue the battle or give up, no, this time I was thinking of my future, of what tomorrow might bring._

"_Four leaf clovers are mutants?" I had to repeat the words out loud, just to feel them on my own tongue to see if it did, indeed, sound as brazen and bizarre as you made it out to be._

"_Yeah, four leaves are a mutation and they're only found in every, like, ten thousand clovers. I guess that's why they're so lucky."_

"_They're lucky because they're mutants?" I was skeptical now. The way you said they were mutations made the clovers seem less special. I always believed that four leaf clovers were supposed to be lucky (just like a lot of other people) but was that still the case if they were merely mutants?_

"_When you look at the grand scheme of life, lots of things are lucky because they're mutants." You smiled at me but your hands never stopped scanning the grass._

"_What are you talking about?" I huffed back at you. I didn't see how being a mutant made something lucky._

"_Spiderman was essentially a mutant and he could shoot webs out of his arms. The teenage __**mutant **__ninja turtles were clearly mutants and they were pretty lucky if you ask me, I mean talking turtles, how wicked is that?"_

"_Stiles they're not real." I shouldn't have said that, not that it isn't true but that doesn't change the fact that you believed they were lucky, real or not. I get it now. You have a wild imagination, a childlike sense of wonder and maybe I was a cynic, maybe I didn't really want to see the good in life, that didn't mean I had to be so harsh with you about it. "Mutations are gross and abnormal."_

"_But they can make something, or someone, who's ordinary into something, or someone, who's extraordinary." _

_Fair point Stiles, I should have stopped there and let it sink in, I should have accepted what you said, mulled it over (there's that word again) and then rebutted. I didn't and for that, I am sorry._

"_Or it just makes it weird and freaky."_

_Let's just get this out of the way right now Stiles. I know about Scott, I know that he's somewhat of a mutant. I guess the better term for what he is sounds something more like werewolf but that doesn't change the fact that he's also a rare kind of species with a genetic mutation. _

_I know why you didn't tell me about your whole werewolf business and maybe you're thinking 'huh, well she sounds awfully calm about it' but let me tell you, I was far from calm when I finally figured it out, in fact I was questioning my own sanity, but we'll get to that later. Hey, you know, for a guy who has such deep secrets, you're not very good at keeping them._

_So see where I might have hurt someone's feelings accidentally. I basically implied that since Scott has some sort of mutation, he's some weirdo freak. I know that you probably weren't too offended, after all, how would anyone know that Scott's some rare supernatural creature, but I'm still sorry I didn't consider your statement. I didn't give your words a chance. I immediately shoved them out of the way just to say something negative. If anyone is weird and freaky, it's probably me._

_I think I like it that way though. As fun as it is to be normal, like the three leaf clovers out there, it's just as entertaining to be a mutated, unusual four leaf clover. Or werewolf in some cases._

"_Being weird and freaky isn't necessarily a bad thing though, you stand out London and standing out can make a world of difference." You're words again but I didn't give them much consideration._

"_People who stand out, stand out for a reason and they're rarely good."_

_I was wrong again. Yes, some people who stand out do so because perhaps they're criminally insane, or a little on the scary side but there are tons of people who stand out because they're amazing. I guess I was just stuck in my own dark, depressed thoughts and beliefs._

_Honestly, looking back on it, maybe I owe an apology more to Scott than to you. He's a nice guy, he genuinely seemed to care about other people (it didn't matter who they were), and he, in my head, definitely seemed to stand out. _

_I, of all people, should have known not to judge others. I've always kind of related to the words that go a little something like this: __the funny thing is, nobody ever really knows how much someone else is hurting, we could be standing next to someone who is completely broken and we wouldn't even know it. I guess that goes for other types of people as well, not just broken people but people who are struggling, people who have their own issues to deal with, people who are supernatural creatures that I thought only existed in books and fairy tales._

_So maybe I shouldn't have been so quick to judge, and here's my proclamation. From here on out, I will not jump to conclusions, I will not assume things about people and I will be the one who changes my outlook on life. I will make my own luck, I will create my own opportunities. That's on me Stiles. _

"_People aren't all bad London." That's what you said, that was your defense against my opinion that people who stand out are always bad. When you've been hurt like I have, ignored and worn down by experiences, you start to get a little defensive. I'm sorry Stiles, I never meant to hurt anyone but I'm going to take my time now and really think about what I'm going to say before the words come out of my mouth._

_Life always offers you a second chance, it's called tomorrow, you just have to get there. I've been through many days where I didn't care what the next one brought, I just wanted the hurt, the loneliness, the pain to end and in my head there was only one way. _

_If I could have made other people hurt as much as I was hurting, maybe I could have felt better but that's not how it works. I can't rely on other people's misery to fuel my happiness, just like I can't blame other people's happiness for my misery. I have to be responsible for me. It's time for me to make my own luck._

_Regards,_

_London Lee Parker_

She _knew_ about werewolves and didn't say anything to him? Stiles couldn't decide whether or not he believed it was a good thing she was aware of the creatures. On one hand, it was quite amazing to know that werewolves existed (which begged the question of how she found out in the first place) but it also meant that she was no longer oblivious and could easily end up in harm's way simply by _knowing_.

Like she had said in the letter though, he would worry about that later, right? There had to be more about how she knew in the rest of the letters, there just had to be.

Letting out a deep sigh, Stiles folded the letter back up and gently tucked it inside the box against the one side. He stared up at his ceiling and brought his other hand up, taking a look at the three leaf clover. His eyes studied the piece of vegetation carefully now and moved the laminated clover closer to his eyes and let out a chuckle.

"Oh London." He continued to chuckle and shut his eyes, letting the image of her face flood through his mind.

It wasn't anything big, it was very, very subtle in fact and if he hadn't studied the clover, forever encapsulated in the lamination, he wouldn't have even seen it. Sticking out of the main stem part of clover was another piece of stem, only this one was slightly smaller and looked very similar to that of the main vein on the clover leaf. He flipped the laminated card over in his hands and let out a full blown bark of laughter.

Hidden against the underside of the biggest leaf on the clover was a smaller leaf. She had taken the completely normal three leaf clover and turned it into one with four. London had created her very own good luck symbol.

"Cute London, real cute. Make your own luck." He shook his head but couldn't help the amused smile taking over his face.

London Parker had many secrets and Stiles easily found himself wondering what more she could possibly have hidden away.

Well, he still had eight letters to find out.

**_XxxxxxXxxxxxXxxxxxX_**

**_Author's Note:_**

**_Thank you guys all so much for reading, reviewing and adding this to your favourites/alerts! Just to let you guys all know, updates should be taking place on Mondays and Thursdays!_**

**_Guest: Stiles might be a little more shocked but at the same time he believes that he knows her and any time that he has spent with her, he's seen that she didn't go through with it...I don't want to say too much but I hope that there are some answers in further letters. Thank you for your feedback and I hope you continue to enjoy it._**

**_noelle: Wow, thank you so much! I hope you keep enjoying it, it's only getting started :)_**

**_lenie954: Thank you for your kind words, I'm trying to make it believable and write it as such! _**

**_poorxbrokexcollegexkid: London's pretty cool and it means a lot that you think I've done an amazing job (so far) about writing such a serious subject._**

**_ALEX: Ahah! Good to see you again! Pfft, London's not some magical creature, she's just a regular human being with regular human problems. I still love your reviews and I'm so glad that you're liking this new story so far! London does have some pretty great advice and thank you for the AMAZING review!_**

**_nessafly: Thank you so much for your compliments! London has a lot to say and I hope that this story continues to hold your interest! _**

**_Taffyrose: Aww no, no tears! I hate it when people cry! :( Thanks so much for the review and I really do hope you continue to enjoy!_**

**_I'm very curious to know what's going through your heads as you read London's letters. _**

**_Once again, if you have any questions, concerns, maybe even ideas that you want to see, just leave me a review or PM me!_**

**_So thank you a million times over!_**


	4. Letter Number 3

_**Ten Reasons Why**_

_Summary:__ An algebra assignment, a three leaf clover, an air freshener, a prescription bottle, a Star Wars trading card, a bottle cap, a tube of lip balm, a toy car, a photograph and a roll of candy. These are the ten reasons why…_

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters of Teen Wolf, London however is all mine.**

_**Letter Number 3**_

Stiles hated the fact that he had once thought he knew London, really knew her, but after only two letters he was starting to conclude that he didn't really know her at all. She was a mystery, someone completely different than she had made him believe. Did that mean he liked her any less?

Absolutely not. She was London, _his_ London and nothing in the world was going to change the fact that she was the greatest part of his summer vacation.

"She knows." Stiles murmured to himself. "She knows Scott's a werewolf."

It still struck him as slightly odd, how she apparently just figured it out. She had stated that 'for someone with so many secrets, he wasn't very good at keeping them'. Was that true? Had he let it slip that his best friend was a werewolf? Maybe he had spoken too loud about it at one point or another. Did it matter in the long run though? London knew and there wasn't much he could do to change that.

The idea of convincing her it was all a big joke ran through his head but after what London had already admitted, Stiles knew he couldn't do that to her. Those words would hurt her, would cut her down, for there was one thing that Stiles knew about the girl, if she believed in something, she believed it in wholeheartedly and nothing would change that.

He was definitely curious though. Besides the fact that she knew about Scott, Stiles was starting to wonder why she didn't just say anything about Scott and his wolvlihood to him, ask him what was going on or how it happened. If Stiles had been in London's shoes and he had found out that someone he had become acquainted with was a supernatural creature, he'd definitely be asking questions.

Then again, Maybe London had it all figured out on her own. Did she know what happened to Scott? That he was bitten by Peter Hale who was once an alpha? Did she _know_ about the Hales at all, of course besides running into Stiles' 'cousin' Miguel that one time with her, would she have had any idea who the wolf family really was? They had been in Beacon Hills for quite some time, had been in the news with the fire at the house but had London been in town that long?

The more he thought about it, the more it just brought up more questions. Was London born in Beacon Hills or had she moved to the town later on in life? If she had moved, how long had she been living here before Stiles had noticed her? Was it years, months, weeks, maybe just days? If it was more than a few weeks, well, Stiles probably should have taken notice of her sooner.

It wasn't like London was a background character in the book of life. In his eyes she deserved the status of 'main character'. She was insightful, intelligent and, while she wasn't a supermodel, she wasn't bad on the eyes. London Lee Parker was a woman that other people should strive to be like.

"Maybe I should've asked her more questions." Stiles mumbled and before he could register what was going on, the door to his room had been opened, his father poking his head in to check on his son.

"Just wanted to let you know that I'm heading to bed now. I'd tell you not to stay up too late but we both know the good that'll do." John Stilinski offered with a small, almost saddened, smile.

His expressions had been weathered by the years, the death of his wife, Stiles' own mother, had surely taken it's toll on the man. If his life weren't difficult enough without having Claudia around, now he had to deal with a sporadic teenage son who was off gallivanting around town with werewolves and, more recently, suicidal girls apparently.

"Yeah, okay, thanks dad." Stiles nodded his head and found his eyes landing on the envelope with the number '3' marked on the front.

"Goodnight." John said quietly and Stiles peeled his eyes off the envelope, meeting his father's intense gaze.

"Hey dad, wait!" Stiles clambered off the bed and moved towards his father, the box left discarded on the covers.

"Yeah?"

"What do you think about London?" Stiles questioned and felt his chest tighten as each word passed over his lips.

Was he really prepared for the answer his father would give him? Did John Stilinski, Sheriff of Beacon Hills, know _anything_ about London Parker at all besides what Stiles had told him?

If Stiles had been the Sheriff and his teenage son was hanging around with someone who seemed to appear out of nowhere, there's no doubt in his mind that he would have looked the girl up, made sure she didn't have a criminal record or anything like that but his dad seemed slightly more positive about Stiles hanging out with an actual female.

"I think that when I look at her, I see someone who's had to deal with a lot, and I don't mean just you." John bowed his head and looked down at the floor of Stiles' bedroom. There had always been something in London's eyes that the Sheriff had seen, something that seemed to scream out that she wasn't always okay. At least if the girl was hanging around with Stiles then he didn't have to worry about her as much.

"What do you mean by that though?"

"I've seen people who act like her Stiles. She's got some deep, dark secrets, maybe you know them, maybe you don't but I can tell you one thing for sure, she's a special person and don't you ever forget that."

"So what if I said something like maybe I suspect that she might have planned on killing herself before-"

"If that's the case, I'd be inclined to ground you for life if I found out you didn't do anything to try and stop her. No matter how bad things seem, there's always tomorrow, make sure she knows that. If you don't tell her, I will."

_Life always gives you a second chance, it's called tomorrow._

The words from London's letter echoed in Stiles head and he forced a smile onto his lips. The sheriff paused, his face contorting in thought but he didn't say another word and instead moved away from Stiles door.

"Goodnight dad." Stiles called out softly and his father nodded in response.

It wasn't hard to figure out that as a Sheriff, John Stilinski had be decent at reading people, maybe that was why he seemed to have such spot on opinions of Stiles' new friend London. Had his dad been involved with other suicides, wait, of course he had, he was the Sheriff after all. Stiles knew how dire things seemed while his mother was dying; he recalled the pain and agony of her death even after his father had promised him that she was in a better place.

Suicide was never an option for Stiles but he could certainly understand how it would be for someone else, someone like London.

There were still so many unanswered questions about her. Surely there were signs that he missed, actions or mannerisms that he could have picked up to conclude that she wasn't 'fine' or 'okay'.

Cautiously Stiles climbed back on his bed, pulled the third letter into his hold and sliced the top open with the scissors. He pulled the letter out, set the envelope in the box and rested the letter on his pillow as he dug out the trinket marked with the number '3'.

It was in an envelope slightly smaller than the one used for letters but it was thicker. Stiles cut the top of it open and pulled out a package with a vibrant green, cardboard evergreen tree. He didn't even have to open it to smell the luscious green apple scent wafting off the air freshener, a scent that always seemed to put a smile on his face. Being reminded of orchards that rolled on for miles was a nice mental picture, a picture Stiles almost hated to give up in exchange for reality.

Stiles rubbed his fingers over the front of the air freshener package, immediately he wondered what in the world she was thinking? Was she going to admit that he smelled bad and that he should wear the tree around his neck? Did London really think that low of him that she felt she couldn't just tell him that he had a body odour problem?

Without getting too offended, Stiles latched onto the letter, raised it up from his pillow and unfolded it. Once again London's elegant writing stared up at him.

_Dear Stiles,_

_You stink!_

_Okay, hang on, you don't really but there was one time (probably more than one but this is a specific occasion) where I felt totally overwhelmed by the smell inside your jeep. _

_Please don't get offended, I'm not implying that you, or your jeep, smell bad, at least not all the time, but do you remember that day, in the middle of summer vacation, where you invited me to tag along with you to the lacrosse field so that you could practice with Scott?_

_Of course you do, I think I complained more on the drive over there than any other time you dragged me along anywhere else._

_Scott kept eying me up like I was completely insane to think that lacrosse was boring or stupid but come on Stiles, it is boring and stupid. Why couldn't you play something a little more entertaining like football, the American kind, or even rugby, at least it's constantly violent._

_Him looking at me didn't bother me though, I could have cared less. I had a book with me, I knew it wasn't going to be a grand ole time for me but I went anyways because I needed a friend and you were it._

_You have to know that there were times in our friendship where I was jealous of you and Scott, I mean, you and him are practically brothers and I wish I had a relationship like that with anyone. I get it, he's a guy, you're a guy, I was the odd one out and plus, you've known him since you were a baby. I don't blame you for wanting to hang out with Scott as much as you did and I'm going to tell you right now that my jealousy was more because of what I was dealing with, rather than something you did._

_I just wanted to be the one person you could go to, I wanted your attention because I craved it. I needed you to want to hang around me to feel like I was worth it. You never did anything wrong and maybe it's time to write the word down that has been haunting me for a long time now Stiles._

_Depressed. I am depressed. _

_Don't you see Stiles, there are things you know about me; like my favourite colour being purple or my favourite band being The Beatles but there are things you don't; like how I used to cry so hard at night praying for someone to find me and help me, or that I was desperate for something to make me feel good about my life._

_I'm not depressed in the 'oh you'll get over it, it's all in your mind' way. Stiles I went to a doctor, he diagnosed me with depression. He gave me pills and everything, I even started going to counseling. _

_I have a disease and it is called depression. _

_I was pretty much always sad, at least until I met you._

_Hold on though, this isn't some novel about my life and how I met a guy and he changed everything for me, no, not even close. Yes you helped me Stiles but what's more important is that you made me want to help myself. You let me see that things wouldn't always be bad and that there were people in the world who do care and maybe I just hadn't met them yet._

_I do love you Stiles, not in the way that a man loves the woman he married, or the way a youthful man falls deeply, madly, passionately in love with the beautiful girl. I love you Stiles because of what you've done to my life._

_I know what you're thinking though, it's probably something along the lines of 'but she always seemed fine to me'. Well, I remember reading something somewhere and it seemed to make sense to me._

_See, just because you're unhappy doesn't mean you can't laugh at funny stuff and marvel at beautiful things and enjoy happy moments. You can still do happy things even if you're unhappy. It's actually easier than it seems. Laugh a little harder in a desperate attempt to feel better, try to make even the simplest things seem beautiful because it's the little things that matter. If you don't enjoy happy moments, even if you're completely miserable, then what's going to happen when something truly amazing presents itself?_

_Okay, I'm getting way off course here. Let's focus back to the trinket, the air freshener. Its green apple, my favourite scent and the reason I'm giving you an air freshener is so that you can hang it in your jeep for all the other unfortunate souls who have to ride in that vehicle with you and Scott after the two of you have been working hard under the hot summer sun. _

_The jeep ride home after you two had tired yourselves out that day was horrific but I don't think I'd trade it for anything. Watching you and Scott with smiles on your faces as you laughed and passed the ball back and forth was worth it._

_Do you remember what you did, to get my attention, to try and make me feel included?_

"_Hey London, do you want to play goalie?" That's what you said and I wasn't sure you were being serious or not. I still hadn't learned to trust you completely and as sad as it sounds, I was waiting for our friendship to turn into something that was only beneficial to you._

"_Stiles I'm reading, you just worry about you and Scott."_

"_Okay well, if you start to get bored, let me know, we can figure out something for you to do."_

"_Yeah, it's really not an issue!" Scott had added, as though he didn't really mind that I had tagged along. _

_I could tell it was a little awkward and maybe, looking back on it, it was because the two of you had this deep seeded secret, you know, Scott being a werewolf and all. He tried though, I'll give him that. He put in way more effort to make our friendship work than I first believed he would. I think we can actually call each other 'friend' now but definitely not in the same way as you and I. _

"_I'm good, I can read for hours." I could have, certainly, but then you launched that lacrosse ball at me and you knew that I wasn't going to just sit there for much longer. I still don't know if you did that on purpose or if it was an accident like you claimed, it doesn't matter though._

"_Come on, we don't have to play lacrosse, we could play-"_

"_Tag?" Scott offered up with a smile and his eyes completely lit up. Nostalgia maybe but the idea of tag, which is such a simple, juvenile game, sounded like a great idea._

"_Okay but I'm not it." I shut the book and set it on the bleachers, you and Scott had closed in on me, setting your sticks and balls on the ground in front of where I was sitting._

"_I'll be it." Scott was still smiling and I wondered at that moment, like I often still do, how one person could be so happy. "I'll give you guys a ten second head start."_

_Clue number one Stiles. Not even the fastest runner in the world could have run that fast. It didn't give me much to go on though, lots of things can be credited for making someone fast. But when he finally caught me, still smiling, I saw it in his eyes, that little flicker of gold. Again, it wasn't anything that would have given it away but it certainly got me thinking._

_By the time we were back in the jeep, you and Scott stinking the entire vehicle up, I was laughing and smiling like everything was perfect and for a few minutes it was._

_Thank you for that, for giving me something that I could enjoy, for knowing that you and Scott had just as much fun as I did, even if it was unfair, seeing as Scott's a werewolf and all._

_That was the first time in a long damn time that I've had that much fun. That was just a small reason as to why you saved my life._

_It might seem like an unfair exchange, an air freshener for one of the best days of summer ever but trust me Stiles, I will never take anything for granted again, especially not you and especially not a single second of happiness._

_If you ever feel like you want to, you can share this letter with Scott, you can share them all with him, I know how close you two are and maybe you would have shown him anyways, but I know it makes things easier when you have someone's permission._

_You really lucked out with Scott and I couldn't be happier that you and him are friends. You make a great team and I have no doubt that you two will do wonderful things. Maybe you can cure cancer or stop some wars. Even if it's just as small as saving one person's life though, you're still, and always will be, a team of superheroes in my eyes._

_Regards,_

_London Lee Parker_

Stiles let out a huge sigh and ran a finger over the edge of the letter.

Depressed, London had admitted that she was depressed. Should he not have noticed that or at least picked up on the fact that she was incredibly unhappy at times?

Did that make him a bad friend?

Stiles relaxed in his pillows and chuckled. London hadn't succumbed to the disease, she continually told him, through her letters of course, that he had saved her life. Did that mean that she was no longer suicidal, that everything was better?

Well, if everything was better, why had she sent him a box, with such personal letters and gifts? Why didn't she just continue their friendship without saying a word?

What was her game?

Just because she was unhappy though didn't mean it was obvious. She had said so in the letter. She still laughed at funny things and pointed out the beauty in nature, or animals. London had always seemed content and maybe it wasn't a lie, maybe there were moments, few and far between, where she was legitimately happy but now Stiles wondered how many laughs were fake or how many smiles were forced simply because she couldn't admit to him out loud that she was dealing with a mental illness as debilitating as depression?

"Wow dad was right." Stiles let the words float out of his mouth. His father had picked up on the fact that she was dealing with a lot. Depression alone would be tough to fight but London had discovered werewolves in addition to her disease.

London certainly had her secrets but Stiles still had seven letters to go.

**_XxxxxxXxxxxxXxxxxxX_**

**_Author's Note:_**

**_I'm so thankful for everyone reading and reviewing this story! It means so much to me that you guys are actually liking London and her letters!_**

**_Thank you guys all so much for such positive feedback!_**

**_poorxbrokexcollegexkid: London's got so many more secrets! _**

**_Guest: Aw thank you so much! I hope you enjoyed this installment just as much!_**

**_Guest: Faceclaim for London, she's the girl in the cover photo (YOUNG _****Marina Vlady**, like very young lol) Thank you for your review!

**_lenie954: Ah she'll get into how she figured out Scott's a werewolf soon enough. Thank you for taking the time to review!_**

**_nessafly: Aw, I'm so glad that you like my writing! If it weren't for readers like you the stories wouldn't be happening so you guys get credit too! I'm glad that you like London, I want her to be relatively relatable and someone who could legitimately exist in reality._**

**_PassionForWritingAlex: Your reviews consistently make me smile! Thank you so much for all the time you put into them and I'm super happy that you're enjoying this story. She does know lol and awww don't be tearing up, everything will be okay :) There will be more explanation as to how London knows about werewolves, hopefully you keep enjoying! Thanks so much for your wonderful reviews!_**

**_winchesterxgirl: Shocked and relieved eh? If we're completely honest here, it's pretty much a miracle that Scott and Stiles have kept the werewolves a secret from other people this long haha. There will be mentions of 'Miguel' so keep an eye out for that :) Thanks so much for reviewing!_**

**_I'm still open to hear what you guys have to say in regards to London's letters. If you were in Stiles' shoes and you can home to find a secret box, how would you feel?_**

**_Questions, concerns, ideas that you want to see, you know what to do, just leave me a review or a PM and I'll do my best!_**


	5. Letter Number 4

_**Ten Reasons Why**_

_Summary:__ An algebra assignment, a three leaf clover, an air freshener, a prescription bottle, a Star Wars trading card, a bottle cap, a tube of lip balm, a toy car, a photograph and a roll of candy. These are the ten reasons why…_

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters of Teen Wolf, London however is all mine.**

_**Letter Number 4**_

Stiles eagerly moved on to the next letter with the hopes that London would leave him an explanation as to how she figured out Scott was a werewolf. He also wanted to know more about her depression and how he played into it.

Letter number '4' was slightly longer than the previous ones and he skimmed over it quickly, catching a numbered list. Well hey now, that was new.

Without thinking too much about it, Stiles grabbed the cylinder shaped trinket with the number four on it and peeled off the paper, the same paper that adorned the outside of the box. He scrunched up the paper in his hand and tossed it at the garbage can against the wall in his room. It hit the wall and bounced into the waste basket, Stiles hadn't even bothered to watch though, he was staring at a pill bottle, without pills in it, London's name printed on the label.

She had blacked out the personal information, at least anything that she didn't want him to know. Stiles knew enough about her though that she had left her address on the label as well as the name of the drug that had once been inside, the dosage and the instructions.

'Take one 10mg pill once a day'. That seemed easy enough and 10 milligrams didn't seem like that much, did it? Stiles had no idea really, he wasn't familiar with this particular drug, this 'Cipralex'.

Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he pulled up his mobile browser and typed the medication name into the search bar.

_Escitalopram, also known under various trade names such as Lexapro, or Cipralex is an antidepressant of the selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor class. It is approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration for the treatment of adults and children over twelve years of age with major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder._

Stiles tilted his head to the side. That was a lot of medical jargon in one paragraph but he had caught the keywords. This Cipralex, London's medication, was an antidepressant and that was all that was important.

Without putting it off anymore, Stiles unfolded the letter, clutched the pill bottle in his hand and focused his eyes onto the words of the letter.

_Dear Stiles, _

_I have told you two very important things so far that probably need to be explained a little more. First thing: I know that Scott is a werewolf. Second thing: I suffer from doctor-diagnosed depression._

_It took a bit of research and a lot of giving up on the idea that realistically werewolves didn't exist, but I figured it out. His super speed, the glowing eyes, not to mention his increase in irritability around the full moon. I get it, it's actually similar to PMS right? Stiles, you should probably also know that you can't whisper and you're awful at being discrete._

_You said it. It started with you saying something to Scott about the other wolves. At this point in time though I'm not sure who they are but I could maybe pick them out if I saw them in a group, especially if their eyes glow like Scott's. _

_There was that day that you tried to subtly bring up the idea of lycanthropy. I was reading a book with a vampire on the front and you asked me how it was. Awful of course but that's beside the point. We got into a playful conversation about the world of the supernatural, starting with the vampires before you veered into the wonderful world of werewolves. _

_Beacon Hills has always been an unusual town, with a lot of animal attacks it would seem, and maybe it's the most obvious explanation but supernatural creatures aren't very realistic. It still freaks me out but I guess if you can be friends with Scott than maybe I can keep my cool and remain calm, even though the idea of werewolves existing freaks me out so bad._

_I mean, he can't be the only werewolf in town. Wolves have pack, __**werewolves**__ have packs, right? Was he born a werewolf? How does someone become a werewolf? These are all valid questions, aren't they? Please forgive my ignorance, this is all new to me. _

_The idea that people can actually morph into full wolves, or partial wolves, that's a lot to wrap my head around. I wanted to lock myself in my room, I was scared Stiles, terrified of your best friend. I pulled my head out of my ass though and I googled to my heart's content until I had gathered enough speculated information to make me feel slightly less afraid._

_Part of the reason why I wasn't more concerned though was because I had bigger problems of my own to deal with and at least that was something that I understood, something that wasn't based on the idea of magical beings being present in my hometown._

_I understood that I was sad more often than not, that I was feeling pretty useless and that maybe I didn't deserve to carry on living. See what I mean, I think debating with myself whether or not I deserved to live is a slightly bigger issue (at least to me) than Scott being a werewolf._

_It wasn't until my mom walked in on me sobbing one night that I finally decided to do something about the way I was feeling. It's maybe hard to understand, it's also really hard to describe but I felt so alone, even though I wasn't. I had you, sure, and don't get me wrong, you were important to me, you didn't hurt me but I couldn't help the way I was feeling._

_I was feeling abandoned by everyone, or at least I had decided that's what happened. I mean, I figured I brought it upon myself. Miserable, clingy, always on edge, those are just a few ways to describe me at the time. I don't blame anyone for not wanting to hang around me, I was the complete package for being negative and I think I just started to feel that everyone hated me. And I didn't blame them._

_So a few weeks later I finally got the nerve up and called the number that my mom gave me. She found some sort of counsellor group phone number. I was fighting back the urge to cry as I dialled the number and part of me prayed that no one answered, that maybe I'd have to leave a message instead of actually speaking to someone at that time. I always found it easier to leave messages, talking to people was harder, you can't mask your feelings as easily, but alas, someone picked up._

_At first she sounded like maybe she didn't care, that she didn't like her job. I think that might have helped me a little bit, like this girl who answered the phone wasn't judging me, she was just there, doing her job and as sad as that sounds, it was pretty much exactly what I needed at that moment, for someone to treat me like a normal human being instead of the broken, worn out person that I had become._

_Here I was, talking to this lady on the phone about how I'm feeling down and depressed and that I needed to get in to speak with a professional, I needed help Stiles, I was desperate for it. _

_Some people who say they don't want to talk about it legitimately don't want to talk about it but some people, like me, really actually do want to talk but I didn't want to just open up Stiles, I wanted to be pushed, to be forced to let out all the bottled up emotions that I had worked so hard on keeping inside._

_I'm not saying that I wanted you to do that, hell we hadn't known each other that long when I made that call to the lady but I know that I wanted someone to do just that. I wanted them to walk in on me crying, I wanted them to rush towards my sobbing body, clutch me tight and say something along the lines of 'what's wrong and don't you dare say __**nothing**__'._

_That didn't happen for the longest time and then, one night, everything changed. Instead of crying silently as I tried to sleep late at night, I just started sobbing. I sobbed so loud that I __**knew**__ my mother couldn't just ignore it like she had been doing all along. In her defence though, I was always quiet about it so there was really no way for her to know what was going on. But that night I was just tired, tired of hiding how I was feeling, tired of suffering alone, tired of being alone with my horrible thoughts at night, losing sleep over things that I had no control over._

_The lady on the phone though, she wasn't interested in helping me that much, she was just doing her job. She took my name, what my issue was, my address and all that important information, I heard her typing, I knew she was inputting it into the computer in front of her. I could picture her sitting in a sea of cubicles with other people doing the exact same thing and as weird as it sounds, I think that thought comforted me a little bit. It was the first time that I had found comfort in the fact that I wasn't suffering alone._

_With the promise that a local counsellor would get in contact with me, we parted ways and to this day I have no idea who she was, I don't know her name, I have no idea what she looks like, all I know is that she was step one on my ladder of recovery._

_It was a few hours later that I received a call from a counsellor right here in Beacon Hills. I know her name, I know what she looks like and she really helped me._

_We're skipping a step in there though Stiles. Yes, I got a phone call from her, Sue, that's her name, and we arranged a date and time for me to go see her. Now she was pretty booked up so I think it was maybe three weeks or so until my first session and I was scared. _

_After I got off the phone with Sue I called up my doctor. My mom had suggested I call him, make an appointment and see if maybe there was something more wrong with me, maybe she was trying to imply that there was something he could do to help me but honestly Stiles, it didn't feel like anyone could really help me. I phoned him up though, ended up speaking to the receptionist who had a lovely British Accent._

_She was polite, asked me my name and I could hear her typing on the keyboard too, looking me up on the list of patients. _

"_I'd like to make an appointment." I said to her._

"_Of course, can I ask what you need the appointment for?"_

_That's when I lost it. My eyes welled up with tears, my chest tightened and I could feel my heart hammering like it was trying to get out of my body. Whether she heard me crying or not, it doesn't matter because she didn't really acknowledge it but her voice definitely softened._

"_Um I think I'm depressed." My voice was shaky but it didn't falter._

"_Oh love, I'll see what we have available in the next day or so, just hang on one second."_

_So I waited, listening to her typing and clicking, and maybe a minute later, she came back on the line. _

_I was terrified at this point, the tears were streaming down my face but I knew I had no other options. I was feeling completely defeated, like there was nothing left in the world that could possibly make me feel better._

"_I can book you in for Thursday morning, first thing."_

_Thursday morning was just a little more than two days away and I honestly believe that part of me figured I wouldn't make it that long. Another part of me concluded that this was my only chance. _

"_That's good, yeah."_

"_Okay, well in the meantime, if you need anything right away, please don't hesitate to go to the emergency room."_

"_Okay." And I nodded, swallowing the lump that had been forming in my throat. "Thank you."_

_What I was thanking her for though, I'm not too sure. Obviously it was nice of her to book me in, and it was really good of her to tell me that I could go to the emergency room if I needed it but I think what I was really thanking her for was the chance for me to get better. I know she was just a receptionist but she didn't have to get me in so early, she didn't have to even take me seriously but she did, she offered me the second step to getting better._

_Two days later I found myself walking into the front of my doctor's office. I cautiously approached the reception area, the lady was sitting behind a set of sliding glass windows. She asked me for my name, I gave it to her, everything seemed to be going smoothly, all typical pre doctor appointment rituals. This wasn't new to me, I've been to the doctor before and it's not hard to remember the drill._

_She handed me a clipboard with a couple of sheets of paper clipped to it. I must have looked confused or something because as she handed me a pen, she started to talk to me, her voice dropping down slightly._

"_It's just a questionnaire, fill it out love and give it to the doctor when he sees you. It'll just help him to gauge what you're going through." _

_Love, she called me love. This was the same woman who had answered the phone. Do you think she remembered me calling from two days before? Probably, but then again, I bet she's dealt with more serious medical problems and way more people walking in and out of the office than I could imagine. _

"_Okay." My voice was small, barely audible but she flashed me a sympathetic smile and I turned around, away from the window._

_Most of the chairs were empty, there was one other person (a man) across the room from me, so I sat down in the chair nearest to the reception area. My hands were shaking slightly, my heart pounding and suddenly it was getting harder and harder to breathe. I was so close yet I was terrified. _

_My eyes scanned the sheets of paper and I started to read the questions._

_It started off with a general statement at the top of the page… "over the last two weeks, how often have you been bothered by any of the following questions"_

_1) Little interest of pleasure in doing things – check that one off._

_2) Feeling down, depressed, or hopeless – yeah, got those feelings all the time._

_3) Trouble falling or staying asleep, or sleeping too much – well I definitely wasn't sleeping too much but for the life of me I couldn't calm down enough at night to get to sleep, this isn't looking good, is it Stiles?_

_4) Feeling tired or having little energy – hey, this one doesn't really pertain to me, besides the fact that I was maybe a little tired from the lack of sleep, I was still going to school and not falling asleep in class. _

_5) Poor appetite or overeating – maybe I was snacking a little more than usual and there were a few times when I was just not hungry but I don't think it was anything to worry about, anyone could have that, right?_

_6) Feeling bad about yourself, or that you are a failure or have let yourself or your family down – fuck, yeah, being depressed made me feel like I somehow failed my mom, like I should have been able to defeat it on my own._

_7) Trouble concentrating on things such as reading the newspaper or watching television – hmm, I think I was fine with concentration, in fact I was really good at it, especially when I was concentrating on things that really bothered me, but no, I could concentrate just fine._

_8) Moving or speaking so slowly that other people could have noticed, or being so fidgety and restless that you are moving around more than usual – maybe I was slightly more fidgety than usual but nothing too drastic, not enough for anyone to really notice anyways._

_9) Thoughts that you would be better off dead or hurting yourself in some way – yes, definitely. I had seriously considered suicide on more than one occasion. Scary thought, isn't it Stiles?_

_That was just the first page, it went onto a second page but I think you've got the gist of it. So I finished my paperwork, gave the receptionist back the clipboard and pen and folded the papers in half as though I didn't want anyone to know what they were. They were my secret to keep. I glanced at the man across the room, he was holding pages as well and I wondered if maybe he filled in the 'mental health worksheet' too. Maybe I could have made a depression buddy. _

_I sat there for minutes before the receptionist called my name and led me into the examination offices just through a door and down a short hall. She waved me into an empty room and told me to have a seat, that the doctor would be in shortly._

_I don't know what the hell happened between the time she let me into the room and the time the doctor showed up but I had managed to start crying, and not just a little bit, no these were full on tears, filling my eyes with water to the point where my vision went blurry. I was embarrassed, what teenage girl went to the doctor's office on her own and cried? The doctor was going to think I was a freak!_

_Okay, he didn't but how was I supposed to know that? _

_It wasn't the worst experience, he talked to me, he wasn't weirded out by my tears, he took my papers and put the results into his computer before giving me yet another paper. This one was a request for a blood test. He booked me another appointment for two weeks later, told me to get my blood taken before then, wrote me a prescription for antidepressants and sent me on my way._

_There it was, official diagnosis: London Lee Parker had depression._

_Let's get back to the counselling thing though. When I went to my first session, my mom went with me but she stayed out in the waiting room reading, I had been on the pills for just a few days. I was feeling physically awful, my chest hurt constantly, I wasn't hungry and thus I wasn't eating, but the doctor had informed me to fight through it, they were typical side effects and they'd lessen the longer I was on the pills._

_I think I lost a couple of pounds, so it wasn't all that bad. It did get better, the side effects anyways. After a few weeks I wasn't feeling anymore physical symptoms and I was starting to get my appetite back. Things were staring to look up. _

_I guess I should maybe leave you with some sort of inspirational wisdom now, something that I found while I was doing some homework for my counsellor (yes, that's right, she gave me homework). _

_Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end._

_Makes sense to me and that's what I really needed, I just needed something to make sense, especially when it felt like my whole life was starting to become fuzzy around the edges._

_It's hard to seek out help though, really, really hard but it's for the best. I thought I was alone but there are so many people out there suffering just like I was. _

_I guess all we have to do now is make it to the end because that's where everything will be okay._

_Regards,_

_London Lee Parker_

The only word that Stiles could use to describe the way he felt after finishing the last word of the letter was floored. He was absolutely and completely floored.

London had kept all of that a secret from him. She was depressed, she had cried alone, she had fought inner demons and lost sleep because of what she was feeling. She hadn't told anyone yet all she had seemed to want was for someone to notice, for someone to care.

Had he failed her somehow? Had Stiles let it get too far? Should he have noticed what was going on, or even picked up on the slightest hints?

Was he to blame for the way she had felt?

It would seem that the more letters Stiles read from the box, the more questions developed in his mind.

He had always thought that he'd be that person, the one to notice when someone seemed to be suffering, whether it be from being bullied or from being some sort of social outcast. He was the type of person to pick out the loners and maybe even keep an eye on them. No one in his lifetime had committed suicide, at least no one in the same school system. Yet London had been suffering on her own.

Maybe it was harder to break the silence, to pull someone into the dark and depressing world that she had seemed to fall into herself, than Stiles could have figured. Suffering alone didn't seem ideal though but Stiles wasn't the one who had been doing it, he had no idea what it was like and he couldn't even begin to try to imagine how she had felt.

"Jesus." Stiles muttered to himself and suddenly he was overwhelmed with the idea that if he hadn't caught her algebra homework on the lacrosse field that day that she would have killed herself.

How would he have reacted to find that out? Would people have praised her in death, people that barely knew her? Would they be saying things like 'she didn't need to kill herself, it would have gotten better'? Would it though?

Death always seemed to bring out the best in people but if they had known what she was dealing with beforehand, would anyone really have tried to help her, to understand her?

Unlikely.

Stiles shut his eyes and tried to think of happy thoughts. The idea that London had come so close to dying scared him but what scared him even more was the fact that he had been the one to stop it all.

"Maybe letter number five won't be so intense." Stiles whispered to himself and he prayed that by the end of the next letter, he'd feel a little better about the whole situation.

There was only one way to find out.

**_XxxxxxXxxxxxXxxxxxX_**

**_Author's Note:_**

**_Thank you guys all so much for such positive feedback!_**

**_If any of you are having a tough time with anything like depression or other mental illnesses, I'm always open to talk. I know it can be difficult._**

**_poorxbrokexcollegexkid: So glad that you like London! And thank you for such kind words. _**

**_PassionForWritingAlex: Aw, it means so much that you think it's inspirational! Lol #HAPPYTEARS! This is set between the end of season 3 and the beginning of season 3. Thank you so much for your consistent reviews! I hope you continue to enjoy!_**

**_I'm still open to hear what you guys have to say in regards to London's letters. If you were in Stiles' shoes and you can home to find a secret box, how would you feel?_**

**_Questions, concerns, ideas that you want to see, you know what to do, just leave me a review or a PM and I'll do my best!_**


	6. Letter Number 5

_**Ten Reasons Why**_

_**I'm dedicating this chapter to all of you who had suffered from, are currently suffering from and who may suffer in the future from depression (or other mental illnesses). Keep your chins up!**_

_Summary:__ An algebra assignment, a three leaf clover, an air freshener, a prescription bottle, a Star Wars trading card, a bottle cap, a tube of lip balm, a toy car, a photograph and a roll of candy. These are the ten reasons why…_

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters of Teen Wolf, London however is all mine.**

_**Letter Number 5**_

Stiles was getting through opening the letters and trinkets faster now. It had nothing to do with the fact that it was past midnight already and he wasn't even halfway through the box, no, it had way more to do with the desperation to find out what other secrets London had kept from him.

He shouldn't have been as surprised as he was with what she had kept from him this far into their friendship, in fact, they had only known each other for a few months now and even though Stiles had felt that they were really good friends, the letters were proving to him that London hadn't told him very much at all.

Four letters down and so far she had written to inform him that she knew Scott was a werewolf, that she had wanted to kill herself but he had prolonged that and that she had a medical diagnosis of depression. What else was the girl going to tell him?

She had given him some good life pointers though, like to make his own luck and appreciate the little things because the little things were what mattered most. It was hard to argue with her on that one, it was often the little things that made him feel better, whether it was watching one of his favourite movies, hearing his favourite song or simply being in the presence of his best friends, one a werewolf, one named London.

"An American werewolf _and_ London." Stiles chuckled to himself and made a mental note to put the actual movie on his watch list. If he could get Scott to watch it with him, and London too, then everything would be good.

Stiles gently sorted through the first four letters, refolding them nicely and making sure they were securely back in their envelopes. He slipped them into the box but pressed them against the side, they were now nearly hidden flush against the side of the box. Stiles dug in and pulled out the remaining trinkets, the ones still wrapped, and set them inside the lid of the box, which he had flipped upside down.

Gently placing the four opened trinkets into the box, he made sure they were put inside in a neat and organized fashion. Stiles wrapped his fingers around the remaining letters and hoisted them out of the box, setting them on his lap, his legs outstretched on the bed. Without thinking too much about them, he pulled the one off the top, the one with the large, black number '5' inked onto the front, and set the others in the lid of the box with the rest of the trinkets.

The trinket marked with the number '5' was a small envelope as well, thinner than the clover had been but just as tall and just as wide. He took hold of his trusty scissors and carefully sliced the top of the trinket envelope open before doing the exact same thing to the letter, treating them both with such care that Stiles had thoughts of surgeons and the intricate surgeries they did; his hands were almost steady enough.

He pinched the letter between his index finger and thumb and peeled back the envelope, taking in the sight of the all too familiar writing. He let the envelope drop to the bed and set the letter on his knee. He gently squeezed the sides of the envelope and turned it upside down, holding his other palm under the opening and catching the object that floated out.

"A trading card?" Stiles mumbled to himself and put the envelope into the box before gripping the card tighter but still with care.

He flipped it over and grinned at the sight of the little green alien poised in a fighting stance, a green light sabre in his hand.

His thoughts immediately went back to the time that they had marathoned Star Wars in his room one weekend while his dad was working the night shift. London had barely made it to the fourth movie before falling asleep against Stiles but Stiles had refused to go on without her and had curled up against her, both of them fully clothed, until the morning when London insisted they resume.

It was one of the most relaxing nights of his summer vacation, the first (and only) time that London had stayed over at his house and he wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. She had let it slip one day that she had loved Star Wars, Jar Jar and Chewy were her favourite characters, aside from Yoda of course. He had made a joke about Yoda but she had glared at him, stating that 'Yoda was the ultimate Jedi'. From then on, Stiles never made a joke about the little green alien, ever again.

He flipped the card back over in his hand and read the back, taking in the information there. He had already been aware of some of the Jedi Master's stats but it was still amazing to actually hold such a card in his hand. It had to be old, it was from the original trio of movies and if Stiles had to guess, London most likely had to search long and hard to find such a card. It was definitely more valuable than anything in the box so far, at least in dollar value but Stiles would never consider selling something like a Yoda trading card, especially if London had given it to him.

Running his thumb along the edge of the card, Stiles took one last look at it before gently setting it into the box where it would remain until he finished the rest of the letters. At least it would be safe in there, no danger of Stiles forgetting where he set it and crushing it with his sporadic limbs.

Letting out a shaky breathe he took hold of the letter and opened it. A laugh escaped his throat before he could stop it, a little Yoda cartoon looking at him from the top of the page. It wasn't exactly spot on, it was pretty rough in general but the effort was clearly there and at the very least, the Jedi Master was recognizable as a doodle on the top of the letter.

Stifling his laughter now, Stiles couldn't hold back the smile threatening to form on his lips. He blinked a few times and settled his eyes on the words. He began to read.

_Dear Stiles,_

_Do or do not, there is no try. That's what Yoda said, that's one of his many lines that has stuck with me ever since I first saw the Star Wars movies, back in the day on VHS with my dad. Wow, that was a long time ago. First of all because who uses VHS anymore, do people even have VCRs in their house, I doubt it, it's the digital age right? DVDs all the way! Second of all, my dad hasn't been in my life for a few years now, almost five. See, long time right?_

_So yeah, Yoda, as you know, is my favourite Star Wars character. When I was younger I just thought he was the most adorable little thing. Other kids thought puppies were cute and cuddly but I always believed that Yoda was the cutest, cuddliest thing of all time._

_Hate to admit it Stiles but my views haven't changed that much._

_In addition to being cute and cuddly though, I've also added wise, strong, perseverant and well, just simply put, he's freaking awesome._

_I am giving you my Yoda trading card. I figure that you'll appreciate it more than I could, I mean it was buried in the bottom of my drawer at the time that I was debating suicide, Yoda deserves more than that, you can respect that, I know you can. Let me just give you a little bit of background on how Yoda came to be in my possession okay because that's a story in itself and it's a doozy, for crying out loud Stiles, it involves my dad, a man that you've never met, and probably never will._

_Not that I'd purposely keep him from you but I barely see him as it is and I'm his daughter, see how that could be hard? But wait a second, that makes it sound sad and it's really not as bad as it seems. He walked out of the marriage between him and my mom because he wasn't happy anymore. That's probably the saddest part, a grown man unhappy even though he had a wonderful wife and an amazing daughter (not to toot my own horn or anything)._

_So one day he was just gone, he had packed up his stuff and left and from that moment on I barely had anything to do with him. __I didn't understand how he could have just woken up one morning and decided that my mom was someone who wasn't important to him, I still don't really. __It was hard at first but over time and many shared tears with my mom, we got better, it was easier to live without him and we even started to realize the newfound freedom that we had._

_We could do whatever we wanted without his negative comments about how asinine our ideas were or how ridiculous our plans sounded. He wasn't there so I no longer had to walk on eggshells around him, worried that I might say the wrong thing and make him mad and boy did he have a temper. Don't worry though Stiles, he never hit me, he just yelled and it was scary. I knew enough not to make him mad, which is why it was always a little bit tense when he walked into a room, even with my mom._

_It got easier, we got on better together without him, we were laughing more, smiling bigger, living it up, two single girls with hardly any cares in the world. I still had school though and my mom had her job but we were content, we'd be okay, we didn't need him around and if he didn't want to be around, well, who was I to judge. I was mad at him, probably not as mad as I should've been but mad nonetheless. He walked out on my mom and my mom is one of the most amazing people I know. She's probably the only person I really, truly trust. _

_That doesn't mean I tell her everything, no worries, she doesn't know about my theory on Scott being a werewolf but then again she probably wouldn't believe me if I told her. She knows almost everything else about me though and I wouldn't hesitate to tell her anything she wants to know. It goes both ways. We have a good relationship, it could probably rival the one you have with your dad._

_Anyways, let's get back to Yoda, shall we._

_My dad, before he left my mom (and ultimately me, but he'd never actually say that he left me), collected trading cards. Hockey cards, baseball cards, cards from movies and television shows, everything he could get his hands on. You name it, he probably had it in card form._

_I don't really remember a lot of my dad, he left my mom when I was maybe eleven but I think I tend to block a lot of the time with him around out. Don't get me wrong, my dad never did anything to hurt me, he wasn't abusive, verbal or physical, but I just remember him being with us in the house one day and then the next he was gone and things just seemed so much better, more relaxed. My mom was upset, any woman who had been married for twenty-six years would be, but it wasn't too long before her and I started to realize that it wasn't so bad without him in our lives. _

_I'm extremely grateful that my mom seemed to be making enough money so that we could keep the house I had practically grown up in. I think her and my dad made some sort of deal where she could keep the house as long as he could keep his key. I never really saw much of my dad after he left but that didn't mean that he didn't still come around, although the visits were few and far between. _

_It was kind of weird the first time I came home only to find things missing from the house. It wasn't enough to warrant me calling the police and reporting that I thought we have been robbed but it was enough to make my mom and I notice that he had been in the house while neither of us was there. He had an extensive comic book collection too, he took that; a decent sized record collection, he took those as well; and all kinds of random other stupid things. All of it was there one day and gone the next. _

_His trading cards weren't the first thing to disappear and it didn't take me long to figure out what was going on so before he could nab them all, I snuck into the basement and dug out my favourite cards of all time, Yoda clearly made the cut._

_I wasn't interested in the baseball cards (although I'm sure he had one of those super valuable Mickey Mantle rookie cards that I should've taken) or the hockey cards (I think I heard a rumour from my grandparents that he actually did sell one of his hockey cards for maybe a hundred bucks), no, what I took was so much cooler._

_Star Wars! Stiles, can you believe they made Star Wars trading cards._

_I have to be honest with you here for a second and I think I just need to get this off my chest, so anyways, I was talking to my mom before I came up to my room to write this letter and she said that the best thing about the 'ridiculous trading cards' was that my dad was happy when he came home with a case of the stupid things and, when it was all said and done, discovered he had actually gotten a complete set._

_See, my dad was kind of miserable but he wasn't mean or anything, he was just no fun to be around. But when he walked in the front door with a case of trading cards, I knew it was going to be a good day. We'd sit at the table and open every single pack of hockey cards, baseball cars, whatever he showed up with that day. He showed me the proper way to open the packs so that I didn't damage the cards tucked away inside. Then we'd get to sorting. He had a system, I can barely remember it but I know that he had a certain way to do it and I was lucky enough to get taught. _

_Fat lot of good it did me though, thanks dad for the amazing skill of sorting trading cards. _

_It took a couple hours, sometimes all day, but it was probably one of the best times ever, just me and my dad, sorting through trading cards with the hope that we'd end up with a complete set, including the special ones: the holograms, the three dimensional ones, even the ones with pieces of material incorporated into the card itself. _

_If we didn't end up with all the cards in the collection, he'd take the doubles we did have to the flea market and try to trade them for the ones that were missing._

_Sometimes I miss my dad, I mean, he __**is**__ my father after all, but most of the time I'm okay without him. I was really mad at him for the longest time and it was always awkward on holidays but for the most part, he's still my dad and I'll always love him._

_If I look back on my life with him in it, I probably should have been able to pick up on it, obviously you're not going to tell a little kid that your dad is depressed but the signs were all there. It's not hard to see that my dad was struggling with the disease, when I asked my mom about it, shortly after I was diagnosed, she started telling me about all the different medications he was on, some working better than others, some not working at all. It's genetic, or at least it's more common when someone a person is related to suffers from it, whether chemically (DNA) or by circumstance._

_I guess I'm like my dad more than I'd like to be._

_So here, you get to keep Yoda, maybe one day he'll be worth a lot of money, maybe you can sell him and become rich. More likely he won't be worth more than a few hundred dollars and that's me being generous. If it does end up worth being lots of money, don't hesitate to sell him. I don't really care what you do with him as long as you keep it safe, so long as Yoda is in your possession._

_Promise me that, okay?_

_I want to thank you for that Star Wars marathon we did this summer. Yoda means a lot to me, he taught me lots of things and I'm glad that I could finally share my love of those movies with someone else. _

_Thank you Stiles, I hope that you continue to love Star Wars, for years to come and maybe one day you can share them with your children and your grandchildren. Which brings me to another promise I need you to make me, this one is a little more involved though._

_Promise me, if you ever have kids, that you will never abandon them, that you won't give up on them. I'm not saying you're not allowed to divorce your wife, or husband if that's the way you turn out, but please, if you do end up with a dead marriage, at least make sure your child, or children, know how important they are to you. Never give up on them, never let them slip through your fingers, even if they try their hardest to push you away._

_Just push right back. They might seem adamant on it at the time but trust me, years down the road, all they'll really want is their daddy in their lives._

_So here I leave you with my favourite person, the little green alien who got me through some tough times. Maybe he can be as good to you as he was to me. I found you though, that's why I don't need him anymore. You're better than an old Yoda trading card any day, for starters, you can talk back to me. It's okay if you laugh at some of the things I write in these letters Stiles, I know I was while writing them._

_Just remember, do or do not, there is no try._

_Regards,_

_London Lee Parker._

Stiles let out a breath but felt the smile still ever present on his face. He wouldn't admit it out loud but the Star Wars letter was probably one that told him the most about her life. He had never gotten the courage to ask about her dad, he had only ever met her mom a couple of times but he was well aware that the two of them lived alone, just her mom and her.

It seemed to work. Aside from the depression, London seemed like a very well rounded individual. Her mom, if she was anything like the way London implied she was, seemed like an amazing person.

"You must unlearn what you have learned." Stiles chuckled, recalling another of Yoda's awesome lines. He dropped his head backwards, feeling the wall against the back of his skull and let out a huff. "Oh London."

He glanced at the clock, just shy of one in the morning, five letters still to go and school first thing in the morning. Was it worth being extremely tired in his classes? was it worth fighting to stay awake at lunch? With just five letters left, it sure was.

**_XxxxxxXxxxxxXxxxxxX_**

**_Author's Note:_**

**_Thank you guys all so much for such positive feedback and all the inspirational responses! You guys are truly amazing an if you've ever felt or are feeling like London, just remember to keep going. I'm here to listen if you want to talk or if you want to vent about something (Teen Wolf maybe) then I'm all ears. _**

**_If any of you are having a tough time with anything along the lines of depression or other mental illnesses, I'm always open to talk. I know it can be difficult, I've been there before._**

**_lenie954: It means so much that you said that I was writing depression realistically, it's one of the hardest things that I've ever had to go through and I'm glad that you liked the last chapter. Thank you!_**

**_AeydenOrion: I try to make it realistic and I wanted to make sure that what London was going through was something that could very well happen to anyone. Depression is terrifying and the way that it's portrayed in a lot of movies/books/tv shows is just not making it as real and serious as it needs to be. I hope you liked the newest installment and thank you so much for your amazing words._**

**_PassionForWritingAlex: More happy tears? Well okay, as long as they're happy then I won't get upset haha. London loves you too! I'm rather partial to her myself. When I set out to create her, I wanted her to be real, someone that people could relate to and I'm truly blessed for all the positivity surrounding her character! Thank you so, so much for all your happy, wonderful reviews!_**

**_poorxbrokexcollegexkid: Ha, you will continue to be floored as well because I've got some pretty nifty things coming London's way! I'm sure I'll have plenty more stories to come :) Thank you so much!_**

**_nessafly: Wow, thank you so much! You are London, well okay, hello London :P I'm glad that you can relate to her, I know that I've had a few rough times and a lot of people out there have too and my goal was to just make a character who could be just one of us. It's one of my favourite sayings, got me through a few rough patches too. Thank you so much!_**

**_Questions, concerns, ideas that you want to see, you know what to do, just leave me a review or a PM and I'll do my best!_**


	7. Letter Number 6

_**Ten Reasons Why**_

_Summary:__ An algebra assignment, a three leaf clover, an air freshener, a prescription bottle, a Star Wars trading card, a bottle cap, a tube of lip balm, a toy car, a photograph and a roll of candy. These are the ten reasons why…_

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters of Teen Wolf, London however is all mine.**

_**Letter Number 6**_

Stiles found himself wondering how much longer it would take to read the letters. It wasn't that he was going to stop, there was nothing that would make him give up for the night now, but he was curious to find out how many hours of sleep he could get depending on how fast he made it through each and every one.

But did he really want to rush through them, they were full of secrets for the most part, they were windows into the girl that he had thought he knew and Stiles was slowly finding out that she had way more information stored away than even he could have imagined.

Gently Stiles set the last letter he had finished inside the box, tucked away with the rest of the read letters. He wasn't giving up for the night, not yet, but he definitely needed a tiny little break, just long enough to empty his bladder and maybe brush his teeth.

As quietly as he could, he climbed off his bed and disappeared down the hallway. The lights were all off except for in his bedroom, which wasn't really a shock to him, but it was still somewhat eerie nonetheless. Ever since Scott had become a werewolf, Stiles always found himself slightly uneasy in the darkness. Who knew what else was out in the world that could harm him without warning?

They had already dealt with a Kanima and Peter Hale, the crazy, blood thirsty alpha, had somehow managed to bring himself back to life, maybe he would show up one day with a plan that involved threatening Stiles' life. There was no way anyone could trust that man, not after what he had done.

Stiles quickly made his way into the bathroom and glanced at himself in the mirror. He squeezed his eyes shut and let his thoughts drift to London, the girl who had wanted to kill herself, the girl who suffered from depression. What did she see when she looked in the mirror? What thoughts possibly filled her head about herself to make a person _want_ to die?

Shaking his head, Stiles let out a long breath and went about his business. There was no sense trying to figure out answers to his questions on his own, whatever London was going through seemed to be something only she would ever understand.

Minutes later, with an empty bladder and clean teeth, Stiles slunk back to his room and gently shut the door behind him. He rested his forehead against the wood momentarily and silently counted to ten in an attempt to mentally prepare himself for the next half of London's set of letters.

His palms pressed fiercely against the door and he pushed himself away from it, turning on his heels and practically leaping into the bed, mindful of the shoe box and the contents inside.

Letter number '6' was pulled free from the box as well as the smaller box marked with the corresponding number as well. It was no bigger than a ring box and Stiles cocked his head at the sight. Jewelry, could London really be giving him jewelry?

He ripped the box open excitedly and lifted the lid, his face falling at the sight. No precious jewels, diamonds or otherwise, were inside, instead he found himself looking at a bottle cap, a black bottle cap. Underneath that was a piece of black paper that covered the bottom of the box, the white words, in a fancy script, easy to read against the dark background.

"Jack Daniel's." Stiles chuckled. "Are you a closet alcoholic London?"

He was rather familiar with the liquid, it was one of his top choices of booze to drink when the time called for it. London had come to him one day during the summer. She had seemed upset and ready to punch someone, so he had told her to chill out and they could meet up after dinner. Low and behold, when he was on his way out of the house, he stopped and nabbed the bottle of Tennessee Whiskey out of his own father's liquor cabinet, or at least what was left of good old Jack Daniel's.

London had seemed slightly surprised but she had followed him along without hesitation, the two of them ending up in the preserve, lounging on a rock not too far away from Derek Hale's dilapidated house. London didn't know that, or if she did, she didn't let Stiles know that she did. Not that it mattered, Derek had been busy for a lot of the summer, the alpha was trying to help Jackson learn the werewolf lifestyle as best as he could before the Whittemore boy was shipped off to England.

Stiles figured that London wasn't even aware of what Derek Hale actually looked like, well, aside from the fact that she had, in fact, met him one time while she was hanging out with Stiles but he had introduced him as Miguel, his cousin. London had seemed to accept his explanation but her comments hadn't gone ignored.

'You have a cousin that looks like that and you've been keeping him from me?'

'Not that you're ugly or anything Stiles but it would seem you got stuck swimming in the shitty end of the gene pool.'

On and on, her comments about his 'cousin Miguel' were constantly praising his looks. Stiles figured Derek was a decent looking person, no doubt his body was sculpted under his tighter than average fitting clothes, but that didn't mean he wanted to hear London talk about him.

No, London was Stiles' friend and he had wanted to make sure she stayed out of the werewolf stuff.

Shaking his head at the memory, Stiles grabbed hold of the sixth letter and sliced the envelope open. He pulled the letter out, unfolded it while he played with the bottle cap in his hand, and started to read.

_Dear Stiles,_

_Yes Stiles, it's a bottle cap, but it's important to me, it's from my first real drink. _

_I want to say thank you for that night that you and I both ended up pretty boozed up but the events of the next day would seem to disagree. I was sick, hung over as they say, and man did it suck._

_Now you're probably thinking 'her first real drink, has she never had a sip of beer before or a taste of a cooler from her parents'. That's not what I said Stiles, I said real drink. Yes I've tasted beer, it's rather disgusting, and my mom had let me try her coolers on more than one occasion. When I was thirteen I went to my cousin's wedding and got to have my own glass of wine. Okay so I ended up taking one sip, gagging and proclaiming that I was never going near wine again. I don't know if I'd rather drink wine or turpentine…hmm…that's an interesting comparison, but trust me, it fits. Wine is disgusting, and so is beer and coolers and especially Jack Daniel's._

_So why did I drink so much of it that night that you met me at the preserve? Why did I help you finish the bottle and end up feeling like a sack of potatoes the next day? I'll tell you. It was kind of nice, even if it was just for a while, to be able to talk to you without a filter. I don't know how much of that night that you remember but I remember quite a bit. A lot of the important stuff was said before I got too into the alcohol._

_It all started when you began rambling about the time you brought Scott out to get drunk after him and Allison (is that her name?) split up. You continued to yammer on and on about how they're perfect for each other and all this junk about how they were destined to be together but the conversation took a turn (and so did my stomach) when you got into their sex life._

_I don't know about you but the last thing I want to hear about is some teenaged sex thing and how you had to live vicariously through Scott because, oh here's the kicker, you're a virgin. Do you remember what I said when you announced that you were still a virgin._

"_Yeah, well I've never even been kissed."_

_That's what I said and then I regretted letting those words out because I knew you were going to say something, and I prepared for the worst. Freak, weirdo, loser. But you didn't say anything like that, you turned to look at me with your beady little eyes and you grinned._

"_I can fix that right now."_

_Apparently alcohol makes you a cocky little shit, you know that?_

"_You know what Stiles, I'm good." That was my response and you scoffed, like I had somehow offended you, even though you were the one lying against a tree looking at me like I was in desperate need of a good ravishing._

"_Okay, okay, but if you change your mind, you know where to find me."_

_I did know where to find you. We were pretty much best friend at that point and I knew where you lived, I have your phone number, we texted almost daily, but how would I ever expect that offer to be anything more than a joke?_

"_You wouldn't want to kiss me anyways." Those were the words that had come out of my mouth and trust me when I say this now, I wasn't looking for pity, that's honestly what I thought. _

_When you've dealt with some of the things I've dealt with, it's not hard to believe that people don't actually want to be around you. I don't know what I did to deserve your friendship but I'm glad I did whatever it was._

"_I would so want to kiss you." Your words were starting to slur a tiny little bit but I've been told in the time since then that a drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts._

_Whether or not you actually wanted to kiss me, that's not important to this letter right now. What is important is the conversation at hand._

"_I'm sixteen and I've never been kissed, that means that I've gone all my life without someone touching their lips against mine. That's lame."_

_Now, understand this, __it was hard to be honest, to open up, and reveal something that sounded crazy. Because once you tell someone the truth, that person has a piece of you and they could belittle it, destroy it, they could turn your confession into a wound that never healed._

_What was truly stopping you from going to all of your friends, or even just people that you know, and announcing to them that London Lee Parker was a loser who had never been kissed? Nothing Stiles, there was nothing really stopping you but you didn't do that, you didn't take what I told you and destroy it, you didn't take my confession and turn it into an unhealing wound. No, you let it scab over, you let the skin grown up over it, consuming the dark, blackened scab and disappear leaving only the faintest of scars._

_So thank you Stiles. You're one of two people that I now trust in this world, the other one, like I've said before, is my mother. There, you're on the same pedestal as my own parent, how's that feel? It should feel good because it's important to me, __**you**__ are important to me._

"_Well hang on a second Lon…" You've only ever called me Lon once and it was that time. I let it slip because you were pretty tipsy but I'm telling you now that no one calls me Lon, okay, not even my mom._

"_Hang on a second? Stiles no one wants to kiss me, I'll probably never be kissed. Everyone else that I know has had boyfriends or girlfriends and they've probably kissed a billion people-"_

"_Not a billion, that's way too many. Seriously though London, it's not lame, you've got nothing to worry about."_

"_But I should have had my first kiss by now!" I shouted and you just stared at me, eyes wide, as though this was a new experience. I guess maybe I hadn't ever really shouted at you before but that doesn't mean it should have shocked you._

"_There's no designated time for anything in your life." Your eyes were normal now and your tone was soft, sympathetic almost. _

"_But I'm sixteen! I should have had my first kiss by now, I should be well on track to losing my virginity, like everyone else, and meeting the 'one' and getting married before I'm thirty-"_

_You cut me off._

"_You don't have to have your first kiss at any certain time, you don't have to get married in your twenties and you don't have to do anything just because other people think its best." You pushed yourself away from the tree and slithered over next to me, slipping an arm around my shoulders and pulling me against your side. "In fact, you will be much better off if you just do what your heart says. The day you stop caring what other people think is the day their opinions don't mean anything, because you're not there to give them weight, you hear me London?"_

_I curled into your side and let out a sigh. What was I supposed to say to that? It made sense, really it did and it helped a little bit but I still felt kind of sad, a little lame even. When I looked up at your face, a pensive expression etched there, I couldn't help it._

"_Well I could always talk you into setting me up on a blind date with your cousin Miguel." _

"_Um no." Such finality in your words young Skywalker. I actually tensed because you sounded so commanding. It was weird, normally you're this relaxed, laidback, fun-loving guy and at that moment you weren't. You were my protector, my safety net, you were there when I needed you and don't you ever think that I, for one second, took any of that for granted. You were always there when I needed you, you picked me up when I was down, you stopped me from committing suicide._

"_No? Isn't he single? He's really attractive you know." I pointed out and snuggled against you further. I sought out your body heat, even though it wasn't cold that night, it was nice to feel the warmth you provided. It was comforting in my uncomfortable life._

"_I mean, I guess, yeah, he's single, as far as I know but that's not happening."_

"_What, do you think I'm not good enough for him?"_

"_I think you're too good but that's not the point okay. I get it okay, you're feeling like you're behind in the whole growing up stage, part of you wants to be on the same page as everyone else and maybe kissing Miguel would help you but come on London, in the long run, is it really worth it?"_

"_Why not? If he's interested of course."_

"_It's not going to make you feel better, I think you should worry about finding someone special to be your first kiss, someone who likes you for you and who you'd want to share that magical experience with. I don't want you to be just another notch in Miguel's bedpost, if he has a bedpost; it's probably more like-"_

"_Okay, I get it, no Miguel." I sighed and dropped my head onto your shoulder. I looked forward, out into the dark forest and tried desperately to push the mental picture of Miguel to the back of my mind. You shifted on the ground and held me tighter and when you pressed a soft kiss to the top of my head, I flinched, barely, and I don't even think you noticed._

"_What if you look at it this way, okay, London, you're a Disney princess, a Disney princess who is just currently in the sad part of her feature film. It's going to be okay, it's going to get better and I promise you that one day, when the time is right, you'll get your first kiss and it'll be magical and then you and your prince charming can live happily ever after in a really big castle." _

_That's what you said, that's what you promised and maybe, looking back on it now, you were right, well aside from the actual finding a prince and living in a castle part. I'll let that go because the general idea was there and I understood what you were trying to get at._

"_Either that or I'll turn into a frog." I hadn't intended for you to hear it, a simple muttering under my breath, but you did and you broke out into the loudest fit of laughter I've ever heard. It was quite a while until you settled down enough to form words again._

"_Well darlin' if you end up as an amphibian, I will catch you and keep you as my little pet. I'll take care you of, heck, I'll even catch you flies and get you a lily pad to sit on-"_

"_Gee thanks Stiles."_

"_But see, I'd do all that for you, and more London. That's what friends are for."_

_I didn't really know until that point what friends were really for. It had been quite a while since I had a real friend and sure, the idea seems simple, to take care of your friends when they're not at their best, to stick by them when they're not entirely themselves, but until those words spilled out of your mouth, it was hard to figure out what to expect from a friend._

_You're my friend and I am yours, you were there when I was down, you helped pick me up, you helped me get through my darkest nights and you were there for me during my brightest days. _

_Thank you Stiles, thank you for being a real friend and thank you for making me feel, for once in my life, like I wasn't an outsider._

_Regards,_

_London Lee Parker_

Stiles let out a small chuckle. He hadn't remembered that night quite as vividly as she had but he could recall the general thoughts that they had exchanged, the confession of him being a virgin, her admitting she had never been kissed. The implication was there, it was obvious too, she was a virgin as well, and he didn't doubt that.

When he had said those things to her, it wasn't because he was drunk, even though he did get a little profound when he was drinking; no he had said those things to her because he truly believed them. Well, maybe not the living in a castle part but it was still a possibility, a very slim possibility, but if anyone could wind up with a prince and living in a castle, it was definitely London.

He wasn't trying to treat her special or make sure that he made her feel like she was important, at least not on purpose, he was just doing what he always did, he was treating her like a friend, which was exactly what she was that night. She was one of his best friends, still was, and that night was when everything seemed to fall into place.

No she wasn't going to get Derek Hale as her first kiss, not if he had anything to say about it, in fact, it was too long after that night that she _had_ gotten her first kiss. Stiles had been there, had known how it would have made her feel and he figured she had made a decent decision on who was going to be the one to provide her with the honour of being the first person to receive a kiss from the wonderful girl known as London.

With the memory of that night taking over his thoughts, Stiles couldn't help but grin. Yes she was most definitely a Disney princess and he was starting to believe that he was her leading man, her prince, her hero, but most importantly, her friend.

**_XxxxxxXxxxxxXxxxxxX_**

**_Author's Note:_**

**_I am honoured and cannot express enough how thankful I am that London and her story are getting such positive feedback! Thank you guys!_**

**_I've said it before and I'll say it again: you guys are truly amazing an if you've ever felt or are feeling like London, just remember to keep going. I'm here to listen if you want to talk or if you want to vent about something (Teen Wolf included) then I'm all ears. _**

**_If any of you are having a tough time with anything along the lines of depression or other mental illnesses, I'm always open to talk. I know it can be difficult, I've been there before._**

**_iLoveStydia: Thanks so much for leaving a review! Glad to hear that you love it!_**

**_noelle: I'm extremely grateful for your kind words and I'm really glad that London's words have inspired you! Thank you so much!_**

**_lenie954: Aw shucks! Your welcome, I guess lol. Stories like these wouldn't happen without people like you! So thank you right back!_**

**_PassionForWritingAlex: London seems real!? She's based on my experiences and that means a lot! Yes! Little things are important! Thank you so much for the reviews and I'm so glad that you continue to enjoy!_**

**_poorxbrokexcollegexkid: Yoda IS the biggest BAMF for sure! Her father and his actions are based on true events haha! Thank you so much for your continued support!_**

**_nessafly: Pure greatness lol, well thank you for that! I'm honoured that you can relate to her! _**

**_winchesterxgirl: Exactly! I feel the same about Scott, he's not a bad guy and I can't see him ever making someone feel left out or anything! He's definitely the type of person who would do what he could to make sure everyone felt included! Thank you so much for the reviews!_**

**_Questions, concerns, ideas that you want to see, you know what to do, just leave me a review or a PM and I'll do my best!_**


	8. Letter Number 7

_**Ten Reasons Why**_

_Summary:__ An algebra assignment, a three leaf clover, an air freshener, a prescription bottle, a Star Wars trading card, a bottle cap, a tube of lip balm, a toy car, a photograph and a roll of candy. These are the ten reasons why…_

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters of Teen Wolf, London however is all mine.**

_**Letter Number 7**_

London was slowly starting to become someone that Stiles adored even more because of her letters. It took a lot to tell someone their secrets, to trust a person so deeply that they could reveal their deepest, hidden secrets and expect them to be kept. Stiles had never given London a reason for her to not believe in him and with each passing letter, he found himself luckier and luckier that he had found a friend like her.

She meant just as much to him as he did to her. Maybe she hadn't saved his life or helped him get through the diagnosis of a mental illness but she had definitely brightened up his life. Spending time with her made him happy and there was no doubt in Stiles' mind that the summer spent with London Parker was one of the best summers ever. She wasn't hard to get along with, she was pretty easy going and when Stiles suggested some activity to fill the time, she usually agreed, with a smile on her face for the most part.

How often had she faked her smile though? If she was depressed, did that mean that more often than not she wasn't truly happy doing whatever it was they had decided to do?

Stiles shook his head and grasped the next trinket, trinket number seven. It was a skinny cylindrical thing and when he peeled the paper off of it, he narrowed his eyebrows as he studied the tube of Tropical Punch Lip Smackers. He had seen London use the lip product on more than one occasion, and it wasn't always the same flavour, is that what they called them flavours? He wasn't sure, he wasn't familiar with the stuff, all he knew was that London always had a tube of it tucked away in her purse or her pocket, all different kinds; Stiles knew they were different because the bright colours of the tubes varied every time London whipped the item out and plastered it all over her lips.

So what was so special about this Tropical Punch Lip Smackers?

With another shake of his head, he pulled the cap off and held the lip stuff up to his nose. Breathing in the scent of it, Stiles let out a sigh of contentment. Okay, so it definitely smelled good, fruity, smooth and he would never admit it out loud but he was most definitely tempted to lick it, to figure out if it tasted as good as it smelled.

Putting the cap back on, Stiles tossed the tube of lip stuff into the box and grabbed hold of the seventh letter. He made quick work of the seal, his scissors still very handy, and pulled the letter out. At the top of the paper, in red pen, London had doodled a pair of bright red lips. They seemed to be in a kissing position and Stiles couldn't help but figure that her Lip Smackers had something to do with kissing. He wasn't stupid, he kind of figured where the seventh letter was going as soon as he spotted the lips on the page. She was going to tell him about her first kiss.

_Dear Stiles,_

_I hope that you know how amazing you truly are. You got me drunk, talked to me about my lack of kissing experience. You made me feel a little bit better about what my life was shaping up to be. I get it, romances aren't something to desire to the point where you just feel shitty, they're a bonus in your life for when you've figured out what you truly want._

_There's no point in being with someone when they just hold you back, right?_

_If you haven't opened the gift up that goes along with this letter, now is a good time. _

_You're probably thinking 'huh, what do I need with lip balm?'. Okay to be fair you probably have no idea that it's called lip balm but you know what you do with it, at least I hope you do. _

_Sorry, we're getting slightly off topic, so the lip balm, you don't need it Stiles, it's a girl thing, but hey, if you want to try it out, I won't judge, it's my personal favourite kind, Tropical Punch. I like the bright pink tube too, which is funny because I generally hate the colour pink. _

_This one is special to me, this was the lip balm that I was wearing (yes Stiles, on my lips) that fateful night that you gave me my first kiss._

_You probably couldn't taste it, maybe you didn't care but I remember and I wouldn't have picked any other flavour of lip balm to wear because Tropical Punch is, and always will be, my favourite. It was just icing on the cake._

_I wasn't expecting you to kiss me, not at all. I mean, we were what, sitting out in the preserve again, on the edge of the bluffs watching the moon and stars glisten high up in the sky. It wasn't a full moon, I remember that much, maybe a crescent. It's hard to recall though because everything up until you kissed me is kind of a blur._

_I was a little cold, probably shivering noticeably because you slipped an arm over my shoulders and tugged me against you. I felt the sweet relief of warmth, your body heat, and I knew that everything at that moment was going to be okay. Maybe the next day wouldn't be so great but all that mattered was that at that exact moment in time, everything was perfect._

_It was totally out of nowhere, maybe if I had been looking, I would have seen the signs, a signal, anything really but I know that you glanced down at me, your eyes sparkling in the moonlight (I've always wanted to say something like that) and you smiled. It was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen and yet it was so simple. With just a smile Stiles, just a simple, easy little smile you made my heart stop._

_There was nothing that would have been able to stop you, I'm sure, but that's okay because I wanted it. The perfect moment topped off with the perfect kiss._

_You moved in towards me, I moved in towards you. God I was so excited, it was such a magical moment and then you closed the distance between our lips._

_Now, not to take away from your kissing abilities because I'm sure they're great but there were no fireworks, my stomach didn't fill with butterflies, in fact, it was kind of weird, right? Sorry, not the kiss, just the whole thing. Think about it for a second, you pressed your lips against mine right but what is it supposed to do? Who was the first person to just go 'well let's try putting my mouth against someone else's', that's weird._

_I will say thank you, you gave me something that no one else had up until that point. A girl's first kiss is supposed to be special and I'm glad that it was with you and not some random guy (although maybe Miguel would have been better, haha, I'm just kidding). _

_When you pulled away, you looked at me, your smile had faded away but your eyes were still glistening. All I wanted was to curl up against your side, maybe forget that it ever happened because I knew things were going to be different between us, even just the slightest little bit, and that terrified me. You were, essentially, my only real friend and there was nothing between us that I wanted to change._

_I liked you as my friend, I wanted to keep you as my friend. I didn't want to lose you because of some, stupid kiss that had the potential to make our friendship implode if things didn't work out._

_You looked down at me, held me tighter and whispered, "was that okay?"_

"_Of course that was okay." I replied but I was trying really hard not to cry, or run away. Like I said, I didn't want to lose you as my friend because you are the only one I've got._

"_Do you feel less lame, or like you're finally at the same level as everyone else who's sixteen?"_

_What the hell was I supposed to say to that? I was terrified, confused, sad even because I knew that things between us were going to change._

"_Why did you do that?" I asked you, my voice was low and soft and you didn't say anything for a minute or so, I wasn't even sure you heard me. I was going to guess that maybe you were thinking about your answer, considering every word you could use to express your thoughts but what came out of your mouth next probably shocked me more than the kiss._

"_I wanted to."_

_That was it, that's what you said and I couldn't begin to fathom why anyone would __**want**__ to kiss me but especially why you would. I'm nothing special, I mean I went a long time without anyone noticing me at all so why was it you that decided they wanted to kiss me?_

"_Why would you want to kiss me?" I have this problem sometimes where I just blurt out what I want to say without actually thinking about it. It's a blessing and a curse and I think at the time I was grateful that the words made it out._

"_Is there some reason I shouldn't?" God your question…there were so many answers, so many reasons for me to argue with you. I'm depressed, I'm no good, I'm unhappy most of the time, I'd just drag you down. I didn't say any of that, I just, there was nothing else I could say._

"_Maybe, I don't know."_

"_I can do it again, if you want, this time you can prepare for the awesomeness that is my kiss."_

_I went rigid in your hold. My entire body tensed up, I was frozen with fear. No, no I didn't want to get into kissing you any more than that one time. It wasn't fair, it had to stop and I panicked. I didn't know what the hell to do. What I really wanted was to get up, leave you there and run home but that probably would have just made things worse._

"_Um, how about you just, hold off, I don't think that's really a good idea."_

_You had no idea what was going on in my life, you weren't aware that I had been on antidepressants for a couple of months now and that I had gone to see my counselor a few times. You didn't know that I was trying to recover from depression (is that what you do, do you recover from depression?). So you probably thought something completely logical about why I didn't want to kiss you, you probably thought, 'she doesn't like me that way'._

_It's partially true, I didn't like you that way but at the same time I didn't not like you that way. I think a relationship with you would have been amazing but it wasn't good for me._

"_What's wrong London?"_

"_I just, this isn't what I want right now." _

"_Okay, well, are you scared or are you not ready? There's a difference."_

_It was both Stiles, I was terrified but at the same time there was no way I would ever be prepared to involve myself in a relationship, even if it were with you. Like I said before, I trust you but I'm sorry I just can't be that girl._

"_I don't know Stiles, I just, don't push it."_

_You didn't push it and that just proves that you're the best kind of guy, a patient one. Here you sat, holding me against you, one of the best feelings in the world to me and I couldn't just accept that you, of all people, had wanted to kiss me, more than once no less! Had I just walked into a better life? Was the perfection of that night going to seep out into the rest of the days of summer? _

_If I had known then what I know now, maybe I would have kissed you back, maybe I would have let you in and told you things that no one knew. We could have tried to be boyfriend and girlfriend and I could have been happy, maybe, temporarily. I've seen the movies though, the girl (or guy) suffers from depression, they meet a guy (or girl) and fall in love and suddenly everything is perfect, happy, the world is right, balance has been restored._

_I don't think it really works like that though. It would have been nice, for a while, but it wouldn't have fixed me. Our potential relationship would have been based on the idea that I needed you to be happy and honestly Stiles, I didn't want that, who __**would**__ want that? You understand, don't you? Why I couldn't be your girlfriend?_

_Hold up though, maybe you're sitting there, reading this letter and thinking 'one kiss doesn't mean I wanted to date you London' or 'just because I wanted to kiss you a second time doesn't mean I wanted to start planning our future together' and I've considered that but to me a kiss deserves more consideration. So don't feel like I was already thinking that we'd be married or that we'd end up dating and going to prom and be together for the long haul. I get it, I'm not some crazy obsessed girl who would break your legs just to keep you near me, okay? _

_I just think that you kissed me because, like you said, you wanted to and you're not the kind of guy to want to kiss a girl without hoping for more, whether it be a long-lasting relationship or a few weeks of official dating._

_So this is my apology._

_I'm sorry that I couldn't give you back what you tried to give me. All I wanted was a chance to be loved, to be accepted. Looking back on what happened between us that day, I don't regret anything. I wasn't ready for a relationship, at least not a romantic one. It wasn't going to fix me, being your girlfriend wasn't going to make the depression go away. Maybe it would mask it, hide how I was really feeling inside. People might look at me differently and think 'she can't possibly be depressed, she has Stiles Stilinski as her boyfriend' and it's true, you're a truly genuine person._

_I have no doubt in my mind that you would make an amazing boyfriend for someone, unfortunately that someone isn't me, not at this point in time. I realized something when you kissed me: kissing you, although it was nice, wasn't going to help me. Being with you wasn't going to put me back together, but I'm sure you would have tried. I couldn't do that to you, I couldn't unload all my emotional baggage onto you, how would that have been fair?_

_You've done nothing but treat me like any other human being, you respect me, you appreciate me. There was no way I could get involved in a romance with you with the idea that maybe all I needed to feel better about myself was a boyfriend._

_You'll get your first sexual experience, probably with some gorgeous girl who won't know how special you truly are. Maybe it won't happen until you're in your twenties, maybe not until you're thirty but promise me that you'll wait until the time is right. You deserve someone special and I'm sorry that I'm not that someone._

_So I'm going to give you a piece of advice now: don't forget to fall in love with yourself first. _

_You are the one person who can truly make yourself happy, you are the only one with the power to change your life. Don't bank on other people being the ones to help you through life, don't count yourself out when the going gets tough, sometimes, if you dig deep enough, maybe that strength you didn't know was hidden within will come to surface. It's truly inspiring what you're capable of when you're backed into a corner. _

_None of it matters though, because if you don't love yourself, who's going to love you instead? _

_It's pretty amazing how easy it is to forget who really counts in the world, especially when you're trying to please everyone else around you. Well don't worry about what others think, do what you love and fuck the rest. Right? As long as it makes you happy and you're not hurting anyone else, fuck them, fuck the people who constantly tell you 'no you can't do that'. Whether it's because they don't think you're smart enough, or strong enough, or pretty enough, you tell them where to go because you are the only one that controls your life._

_I really am sorry, my first kiss was a good experience and I understand how nerve-wracking that must have been for you. You put yourself out there with the chance that you'd get rejected, I'm sorry that you did, but maybe now, knowing what I was dealing with, you can understand why we had to stay 'just friends'._

_I'm wrapping this letter up and I'm going to leave you with something important that I learned: just because you were not right for someone does not mean you will never be right for anyone. _

_Keep that in mind Stiles, you'll get there eventually, and so will I. For now, let's just enjoy the journey, okay?_

_With love,_

_London Lee Parker_

He had been somewhat disappointed that she didn't want him to kiss her for a second time and he had felt more than just friendship for the girl. She was an amazing person, smart, funny, beautiful and not afraid to tell him no.

Just because things hadn't worked out for him, didn't mean he was just going to give up. He could wait things out, maybe London would change her mind and feel better eventually, maybe then she would want Stiles to kiss her again in the future.

He understood better now. She hadn't flat out rejected him simply because she didn't like him, she had done it because she hadn't figured out how to love herself. The hurt, the slight pain from having her brush him off as though him being her first kiss meant nothing lessened as soon as he read the letter.

She needed to love herself first, he hoped that one day she could finally discover how to do that.

His feelings hadn't been hurt too much, at least they had figured out how to go back to being just friends, albeit with slightly more teasing about London and her first kiss, but things had fallen back into place. Maybe it was a tiny bit more awkward than before he had decided to go for it, to man up and do it, to kiss her like there was no tomorrow, but they seemed to have made it work.

London probably had enough to deal with on her own that she could easily push a little kiss to the back of her mind. He couldn't begin to imagine how hard it had been for her to say no when he offered to kiss her for a second time. She was struggling, always seemed to be struggling and Stiles was slowly starting to understand why.

"I hope one day that you love yourself the way you deserve." Stiles murmured to himself, silently willing his words to make it to London. "Maybe you can find someone who can love you, even with all of your broken pieces. As long as you reach the point of being happy…"

London Lee Parker, that name would always be forever embedded into his mind. She would always be a part of his life. With three letters left to go, Stiles hoped that she would be able to find peace.

**_XxxxxxXxxxxxXxxxxxX_**

**_Author's Note:_**

**_It makes me feel amazing to hear you guys sharing your thoughts and experiences and I'm extremely glad that you can relate to what London's going through!_**

**_If any of you are having a tough time with anything along the lines of depression or other mental illnesses, I'm always open to talk. I know it can be difficult, I've been there before._**

**_PassionForWritingAlex: Aw thank you for adoring me :) I'm so glad that you can take things away from this story and that it can brighten your day (even if it's just a tiny little bit). YES! Little things are important! It's hard when you have to go through something like depression but it's possible to overcome it, to take it on and kick it in the butt but at the same time I know how bad it can get. I hope you loved this chapter just as much :)_**

**_poorxbrokexcollegexkid: It's so much fun writing London as she teased Stiles about Miguel! Stiles is the best, he's definitely not pushy and he's a really good friend! _**

**_nessafly: I hope you enjoyed this chapter just as much! It's really quite an honour that so many people like London! Yes, the small moments are big moments and I feel like London just needs a few more. There you have it, you know who she kiss, what did you think? I hope you enjoyed it! And thank you!_**

**_Questions, concerns, ideas that you want to see, you know what to do, just leave me a review or a PM and I'll do my best!_**


	9. Letter Number 8

_**Ten Reasons Why**_

_Summary:__ An algebra assignment, a three leaf clover, an air freshener, a prescription bottle, a Star Wars trading card, a bottle cap, a tube of lip balm, a toy car, a photograph and a roll of candy. These are the ten reasons why…_

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters of Teen Wolf, London however is all mine.**

_**Letter Number 8**_

The longer that Stiles sat on his bed and thought about it, the more he found himself confused about what he was going to do the next time that he saw London. Part of him feared that something had happened, or was going to happen, and that he'd never see her again, it was the easiest explanation as to why she would give him a box full of letters. She had to have something planned, something big. Maybe she wasn't doing as well on her antidepressants than she implied in the letters, maybe she had come up with a grand idea to leave Beacon Hills and go seek out better help elsewhere.

Should he chance it, should he text her, call her, email her and see if she'd reply to him? It was extremely early in the morning and he had to get up for school in a few hours but would London be in bed sleeping or would she be somewhere else hurting, alone?

So what kind of person took the time to write out a bunch of heartfelt letters revealing their deepest, darkest secrets just for the sheer fun of it? Was that something that London was capable of or did she have some sort of ulterior motive?

Stiles tucked the seventh letter into the box behind the sixth. He took hold of the envelope with the number '8' scribed on the front and quickly sliced the top open, pinching the letter between his forefinger and thumb. When he freed the paper from the envelope, he let the casing fall freely to the bed beside him.

Sleep was starting to seem like a good idea, he was growing tired but he wasn't going to give up yet, not until he finished her letters, not until he knew the full story. A piece of him was desperate to reach the end to make sure that she was still alive, that she hadn't decided to end her life after all.

Placing the letter between his lips, Stiles grabbed the tiny box, no bigger than a pack of cigarettes, in his hand and peeled the paper back, tossing the scraps to the floor beside his bed. He pulled the lid off the box, which seemed to be made for something small, perhaps a bracelet, maybe a pair of earrings, but there was no jewelry there. Stiles wasn't disappointed though, he had no use for a bracelet and his ears weren't pierced, not that he had ever considered it. Resting inside the box was a Hot Wheels toy car.

The front hood of the car was black and there were matching colour accents along the side, however the rest of the toy car was a vibrant blue. Stiles grabbed the car, a forefinger on one side of the car, his thumb on the other, and he lifted it up, freeing the vehicle from the box. He flipped it upside down and noticed that the belly of the tiny toy beast was a sparkling silver. A smile broke out on his lips and he dropped the letter from between his lips.

Gently setting the car on his thigh, Stiles took hold of the fallen letter and unfolded it, impressed yet again at the elegant hand writing that belonged to the one and only London Lee Parker. Stiles paused though and took a deep breath before reading it. He wasn't sure what to expect and he wasn't entirely confident that he was ready for her to tell him another secret. Knowing that London was dealing with depression without him hurt, a terrible, searing hurt that wouldn't go away until he knew she was okay, or at least as okay as she could be in her situation. She had said she trusted him in the letters and aside from her mother and grandparents, she didn't trust anyone else, so why had she kept all of this from him until this point?

He was scared, he'd easily admit it. He was scared for London, scared that she didn't believe in herself even half as much as he believed in her. London, in his eyes, was a strong, beautiful, extremely intelligent human being but did she know that? Did she feel that way about herself or did she see a broken, unfixable, stranger living a life that had once belonged to her?

There was no point in putting it off. Every second he hesitated was a second he could have been using to sleep later on. Stiles let out a soft sigh and started to read.

_Dear Stiles,_

_Hey, so I guess you've made it through seven letters already and I can't imagine it was easy, well, reading isn't hard for you but that's not what I mean, I mean, reading those things, knowing I kept things from you, that must have been hard. _

_When I set out to write you these letters I hadn't realized how much I would say or what exactly I would tell you. I didn't plan to admit that I suffer from depression and I'm not entirely sure it was fair to you to admit that I had been planning to commit suicide that day that you helped me with my algebra assignment but what would be even more unfair would be to keep that from you, right?_

_I also want you to know that if you're currently suffering, or suffering in the future, you can talk to me. I may not be the best one to offer advice but I know I'll listen and I can be there for you. I can be the person that I needed when I discovered I had depression, I can support you with whatever you decide and I'll try to provide you with whatever you need; a shoulder to cry on, a phone call in the middle of the night, maybe even a 'middle of the night' breakfast date. Honestly Stiles, if there's anything you ever need, I promise that I'll do my best to be the friend you deserve._

_At the same time though, you have to be patient with me. I'm broken, I think I will always be broken but I have a little bit more advice for you that might help with that. Someone once told me to be careful when trying to fix a broken person for you may cut yourself on their shattered pieces. I have faith that you'll be careful but I also know that you're not afraid of a cut, no matter how deep or how much it hurts, you won't give up._

_So I think, maybe, you deserve an update on how I'm doing and what exactly is going on at this point. Okay so I've been on these antidepressants for a few months now and I've certainly heard the horror stories of people who find that they don't like themselves, or who they've become, while they're on their medication. That's not me. I think I'm actually starting to like me, I'm starting to realize that things will be okay. _

_I'm not expecting these pills to make my life perfect, I'm not expecting them to make me beautiful or flawless or desirable to anyone who looks my way. They won't make people like me, they won't get me friends but they've made me feel okay. _

_I still get sad sometimes, and at first that scared me. I figured 'hey I'm on antidepressants, I shouldn't be allowed to be sad' so I brought it up with my counselor, fully expecting her to either ask to see me more often or maybe she would hint that I should go back to my doctor and get put on a higher dosage._

_She did neither of those things. Do you want to know what she did instead?_

_Stiles, she told me that it was okay, I'm still allowed to feel sad, if I didn't feel sad sometimes that would be unusual. As long as the sadness doesn't stay for too long and as long as it isn't caused by something it shouldn't have been caused by, then I can still feel sad. Don't you see though, i__t's impossible to completely shield yourself from sadness without also shielding yourself from happiness, which is exactly what I wanted. I couldn't have happiness without the other emotions though, that's not how life works and that's okay._

_Do you get it now? Sometimes you have to be sad for a really long time before you can be happy again, and if pills or counseling are what help to achieve that, then so be it. There's nothing wrong with that, someone people need help, they just can't do it on their own, and that's okay too._

_I used to cry at night and struggle to calm my thoughts enough to get to sleep. More often than not I'd get these absurd thoughts in my head about things that I have absolutely no control over and those thoughts would freak me out, they'd terrify me. Essentially, I was having panic attacks at night._

_I don't do that anymore, I am okay now. I still get these thoughts, although not as bad, but I deal with them differently. Instead of letting them take over my brain and keep me from sleeping, I write them down so that I can think about them in the morning when my head is a little bit clearer. _

_It's hard still sometimes and I've come up with a sort of mantra for my new situation. The pills can help me feel better but they can't make people stop being assholes. _

_And there are a lot of assholes out there._

_The pills, well, they're there to help me. I should be comfortable in my own body, my life shouldn't be controlled by fear and darkness. I shouldn't want to commit suicide or hurt myself just to feel something, that's what is not healthy. I believe that one day I'll get there, one day I'll be able to deal with everything that comes my way. It'll be hard and I don't ever think I'll be able to just 'get over' depression but there's a light now Stiles, I can see it. _

_I know that if I start to get bad again, there are people who can help me. My mom knows what happened, she knows what I'm dealing with and she'll be able to see it now. It's still hard, some days I find myself desperate to be happy and maybe I laugh a little harder than I should, maybe I force a smile now and again but is it such a bad thing to want to be happy?_

_My mom always told me when I was little not to settle. I think we're allowed to once in a while and __If there's one thing I've learned in the past little while, it's this: we all want everything to be okay, we don't even wish so much for fantastic or marvelous or outstanding, we will happily settle for okay, because most of the time, okay is enough._

_I think I'm okay now Stiles, I will __**be**__ okay. The idea of suicide now seems foreign and part of me can't entirely believe that not too long ago, I was perfectly accepting of the idea of death. I wanted it to end, I wanted to stop feeling so shitty all the time and death had once seemed like the only way out._

_It wasn't Stiles, it never was and it never will be. Things have changed for me, and that's okay._

_I used to have this idea in my head and_ _every time I was about to achieve a tiny bit of happiness, some little piece of me said 'you don't deserve this' and another little piece said 'I know'. _

_Don't let anyone tell you that you don't deserve a bit of happiness, even if that person is yourself. It doesn't matter what your story is, or anyone's story for that matter, everyone on this earth deserves a moment where they feel something good. It all comes back to the little things, remember that Stiles._

_Laugh at the funny pictures, the other day I saw woman walking her dog and all of a sudden the dog plunked his butt down on the sidewalk and refused to go. She pulled and the dog's fur bunched up around his head, it was funny, so I laughed. It felt good Stiles, really good. While laughter may not be the best medicine, it certainly doesn't hurt._

_See the beauty in anything. That night where we were sitting under the stars looking up at the glowing moon, I felt a sense of calm that I hadn't felt in a while. I felt lucky to be able to witness something so magnificent, so beautiful that I let myself forget everything else, even if it was only for a few seconds._

_Appreciate those that care about you. In the beginning this would have been my mom, for the most part, and maybe my grandparents. I love my family, don't get me wrong, but we have our differences, and while my aunts, uncles and cousins may care about me, it's just not the same. My mom loves me unconditionally, and I love her right back. There's nothing more special than your grandparents either, they're always so full of good life advice._

_I'd like to add you to that list. I know you care about me, I certainly care about you and you're important to me. You are a valuable piece of my life and I wouldn't trade you for anything. This is to let you know that I appreciate you and thank you for that. _

_I've learned, throughout this process that everything in life is temporary. If things are good, enjoy it because it won't last forever. And if things are going bad, don't worry. It can't last forever either. _

_Have a little faith, hold out and be patient. Don't give up, who knows what tomorrow will hold. Maybe it'll be bad too or maybe it'll be just that slightest bit better but you have to make it there, you have to get to tomorrow. _

_Now that that's out of the way, let's get down to it. This car, tiny little toy car, which I searched high and low for, is because I told you that one day I would give you a car. So here it is. I wanted to make sure that I didn't fall back on our deal, but if you turn it over and look at the underside, you can clearly read that it's a 1970 Plymouth Roadrunner, and blue no less._

"_If you make this shot, I will get you a car." Those were my words as you stood in front of the lacrosse net, stick poised and ready but I wasn't challenging you to get the ball in the net, I was challenging you to get the ball into the hole on the tree outside of the field._

"_Okay but I want a specific car, a good car, the same car that your dad drove when he was in high school!" That was your counter._

"_Um, okay, it won't matter anyways because you won't make the shot!"_

_I should have had a little more faith in you than that, I should have stopped the words before they even came out of my mouth. Just because it was nearly impossible, didn't mean you couldn't do it. That's something you taught me that day. _

_Before then I figured beating depression was impossible and maybe it had always seemed that way but you showed me that I had to take a chance, I had to give it my best because if I didn't even try, then I would never know how it felt to overcome the impossible._

"_Watch me!"_

_I watched you, I watched you wind up, I watched you let the ball go, I watched as it sailed through the air, right for the tree and before I could say jinx the ball sunk into the tree, a hole in one, a one in a million shot but you did it, you made me eat my words._

_So maybe you were joking that day when you said you wanted the same car that my dad drove when he was a teenager but I went out and I found it! I figured that if you could make that impossible shot in one try then I could do the impossible and find a toy replica of the very same car my dad had when he was in high school._

_I had to ask my mom what he drove and she and I spent a little bit of time googling it but this is the end result. _

_One day I'll maybe get you a real car, one that you can drive, but until then, I'm giving you this. I will always keep my word, I owed you a car and technically I delivered. Now that you know that you can trust me when I make deals, you can take this to heart when I say that I swear I will do my best to make it through. I will push forward when it seems like the world's going to push me right back, I will try, even if it seems pointless. I will beat this Stiles, even if it takes me the rest of my life._

_I just hope that you stick around for the ride._

_Love always,_

_London Lee Parker_

Stiles ran his fingers along the curves of the Hot Wheels, a smile present on his face. So it wasn't exactly what he had been expecting when she said she was going to get him a car, it didn't matter, she had most definitely kept her word, although a loophole had been found on her part.

A 1970 Plymouth Roadrunner. So it wasn't the coolest car, or the fanciest, it was decent nonetheless and it meant all the more because it had come from London. Maybe her journey wasn't even close to being over, it could just as easily be the beginning but Stiles understood the premise of the letter, he didn't have to be told twice.

He would have faith in her, there was no doubt in his mind that she would come out on top. He'd be patient, it had to be hard, suffering in silence. The only other person who had been aware until that night had been her mother. Stiles couldn't even begin to imagine the anguish, the pain associated with watching a child go through the same thing London was going through. Her mother must have been desperate to get London back feeling better.

Having to wake up every day with the thought that it was a possibility of finding the body of someone who had committed suicide, that was horrifying. Would London even realize how many people she would truly have effected with something as permanent as suicide?

She would have devastated her mother, her grandparents, hell her entire family but that was only the direct connections. Stiles himself would have been directly affected, and then Scott would have had to get involved because of him, the pack would follow suit. It wouldn't be too long until everyone involved in the supernatural goings on of Beacon Hills knew that Stiles had once had a really good friend that hadn't been able to overcome the intense emotions and had ended up committing suicide because she couldn't take it anymore.

Suicide was a selfish opt out, that was what Stiles had decided long ago. When his mother had passed away, any time he heard of someone 'opting out' of life, a part of him became angry.

How could someone just give up on life when there was almost always _something_ worth living for? How could they do that to everyone in their life that did care? How could they leave so tragically and end up with a trail of broken people behind?

Stiles fought off a groan and grasped the Hot Wheels car tighter in his hand.

London wasn't going to become a statistic, she wasn't going to get to hurt people with a senseless suicide, not if he had anything to do with it.

Making a silent vow, Stiles swore that he was going to find her first thing in the morning at school and make sure she knew how badly he'd be hurting if he lost her.

Eight letters down, two left and the sooner Stiles got through them, the sooner he could get to sleep and the sooner he'd be seeing London at school.

**_XxxxxxXxxxxxXxxxxxX_**

**_Author's Note:_**

**_There are not enough words to express how amazing each and every one of you are! Thank you so much for all the wonderful feedback! _**

**_If any of you are having a tough time with anything along the lines of depression or other mental illnesses, I'm always open to talk. I know it can be difficult, I've been there before._**

**_PassionForWritingAlex: :D we'll just start with that because honestly your reviews make me smile so big! Always such kind words and I'm so glad that you're loving these chapters! Stiles IS sweet! London knows that too, she's pretty smart haha. Stiles licking lip balm is totally something he'd do, I can see it! She was joking lol, she just thinks Miguel is super hot (can we really blame her lol) but she adores Stiles! Hahaha! No Malia in this story! Just Stiles and London! Thank you so much for your amazing reviews!_**

**_poorxbrokexcollegexkid: London's pretty wise, she knows that a boy won't solve her problems, even if society sort of hints at that. Aw shucks! Thank you so much!_**

**_nessafly: Perfect!? No foot popping, stomach dropping kiss for London, it's just...there. I'm so glad that you like London! Mature and rational, for sure, she knows things, things that might take people years to figure out but that just goes along with her struggle! Thank you so much and I hope you continue to read and enjoy!_**

**_winchesterxgirl: Thank you for both your reviews (chapter 7 & 8)! Even drunk London is not about to jump on Stiles! Everyone is a Disney princess and we all go through rough times, it's how you make it through that counts! There are a lot of people (boys and girls) out there who don't always get it. There's more important things out there than petty drama or grudges and I hope that London can maybe help a few more people out before her story is done! I have what I'd like to think is a good ending in store and I think that you will really like it! Anyways, that's not for another few chapters...so thank you! _**

**_Questions, concerns, ideas that you want to see, you know what to do, just leave me a review or a PM and I'll do my best!_**


	10. Letter Number 9

_**Ten Reasons Why**_

_Summary:__ An algebra assignment, a three leaf clover, an air freshener, a prescription bottle, a Star Wars trading card, a bottle cap, a tube of lip balm, a toy car, a photograph and a roll of candy. These are the ten reasons why…_

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters of Teen Wolf, London however is all mine.**

_**Letter Number 9**_

The clock haunted him at this point in time, it was getting late and Stiles was starting to seriously consider putting the letters in the box and waiting until morning. That seemed to be the most logical idea but Stiles was so close to the end that giving up now would just be silly. There were only two letters left, how much longer could it actually take to finish two more.

Then again, even if he could somehow manage to pull himself away from the letters, that didn't mean he'd be able to turn his mind off long enough to actually let sleep take over. Thoughts of what the last two letters could possibly contain took over and now there was no way he was just going to be able to ignore them, to leave them until daylight, especially not after the dropped bombs from the earlier letters.

Taking a firm hold of his scissors, he sliced the envelope with the number '9' marked on it open and slipped the letter out, letting it rest on his thigh. He grabbed the trinket envelope with the number corresponding to the letter and easily slid his blade across the top, freeing the item from inside its paper cage.

When he pulled it out, Stiles found himself staring at a photograph, an old school selfie, of him and London, well, their faces anyways. He remembered the exact moment of the picture, nothing on the journey to the lacrosse field had been photograph worthy so the two of them had taken a seat on the bleachers, a blanket of silence draping over them.

There wasn't anything super special about the picture that he could lay his finger on, except for her smile. London had shown up at his house one afternoon with a disposable camera and demanded that they finish the roll of film. It wasn't supposed to be a hard task, there were only about five left according to the number on the counter but London had insisted that they had to capture perfect moments in time and nothing less.

Stiles hadn't been expecting her to latch onto his wrist and pull him outside, leading him away from his house and towards the lacrosse field at the school a few blocks away. The journey had been half the fun, London had pointed out various things that would potentially make a decent photograph but they hadn't been able to agree on one specific focus, the counter hadn't moved the entire way.

He had taken the camera from her grasp and before she could argue, he shoved his body against hers, held the disposable camera out in front of them and had poked her in the side with his free hand eliciting the gigantic smile forever memorialized in the picture.

Stiles hadn't seen the resulting picture yet but there was something about it, something clearly very special, that brought a smile to his face.

Studying the photograph that he held gently in his hand, he tried desperately to figure out what was so extravagant about the two of them. He had spent hours upon hours hanging out with the girl but this picture, this captured moment in time, made his chest swell with pride.

London's face was right next to his and there was a radiating smile there that caught his attention and held it. Prying his eyes away from the photo would be a hard thing to do. His heart picked up in speed and his eyes locked on hers in the picture. She looked happy, genuinely happy and here it had been caught on film, was that what was so special? Was that the reason why he felt like he was lucky just to even _know_ the girl?

He ran his thumb down the edge of the photo and felt his muscles tense. Was this the only evidence that he had of London being truly happy?

He made a mental note to try to capture her gorgeous smile with his phone any time that he possibly could. If they turned out anything like the photo he was looking at now, Stiles would forever find himself smiling at the image of London being happy, especially now that he knew what she had been going through for the entirety of their friendship.

Fighting against himself, Stiles managed to rip his eyes away from the photograph, away from London's beaming face. He settled his gaze on the letter, which resided against his leg. Still holding the photo in his hand, Stiles lifted the letter up and unfolded it, tucking the picture behind the paper of the letter in his grasp.

_Dear Stiles,_

_It's amazing how far technology has come... _

_When I was little I used to grab hold of the photo albums lying around the house and I could spend hours just looking at pictures and trying to figure out what was going on in the photo. I would make up stories to go along with the ones I had no idea about and pictures with me in it were often used for sparking memories. _

_My mom loved looking at the albums with me, she could reminisce for days if you let her and hearing some of the funny stories about me when I was little were definitely enlightening. I was an entertaining toddler, that's for sure. The best pictures were the ones of my mom and I, honestly nothing will ever be able to beat those moments, those perfect moments, captured on film, forever holding a split second in time._

_So tell me something Stiles, when did everything change? _

_Now I'm not talking about growing up and getting older, what I'm talking about is why are photographs in this day and age, meaningless, essentially. _

_I go on facebook, twitter, Instagram and all I see are selfies or pictures of food. Where have the important moments gone, the ones that tell stories, the ones that mean something?_

_I'm not saying that everyone should stop taking pictures, to each their own right and who am I to judge. If taking pictures of food and whatnot makes other people happy, good for them. I'm just saying, what happened, why are there not more photographs still being printed or framed, why does taking a snapshot involve so little effort that people spend time capturing dinner plates or desserts when they could be out there enjoying life and being happy?_

_What kind of world are we living in where our most precious memories are brushed to the side for a picture of elaborately placed food instead?_

_No one makes scrapbooks anymore, they don't get their films developed, they don't put pictures in albums to look at years down the road. _

_Tender moments have been replaced with multiple shots of the same thing over and over again until the 'photographer' gets it just right._

_I miss the days where you took your chances, you pushed the button, the shutter went off and you didn't get to see the actual photograph until you went to the store and paid someone to develop the pictures. It didn't matter how awful someone looked in a photo, there was no easy way to get rid of the evidence. There were stories that went along with each photo, a memory; whether it be happy, funny, sad, devastating, something always went along with a picture._

_Honestly, those were simpler times, better times in my eyes. Where did we go wrong?_

_If you've opened the gift envelope, you should already know that letter number nine is about the photograph of you and I and the story that goes along with it._

_You probably remember what happened that day but you don't know the confluence of events from my perspective._

_Yes I showed up at your house with a disposable camera that I had found and demanded you join me for a photography session but you don't know that the reason I had come across the camera is because I was desperately trying to find where my mom had hidden my laptop._

_It wasn't out of malice, she was actually doing me a favour. I had gotten pretty bad around that time, the depression had kicked up a notch, and every time I logged onto my laptop I always ended up feeling worse about myself so she had taken it away. _

_I wanted to get online, to send an email to my counselor and tell her that I had to reschedule for our next session (that was a lie Stiles, I really just didn't want to go), so I had begun to search for my laptop and instead of finding my personal computer, I ended up finding a box full of fun things. In addition to the disposable camera, I also found a pair of booties from when I was a baby, my birth announcement, a journal I had written when I was seven and a number of other incredible memories. Needless to say, the box made me feel slightly better about myself, at least for the day._

_When I laid my hands on that camera though, a smile spread out on my lips and I couldn't even begin to imagine what was on it. My eyes lit up when I looked to the picture counter and noticed that there were still a few photos that needed to be taken so I shoved the camera in my pocket and took off for your house._

_I knocked on the door and you answered. It took every ounce of self-control not to just snap a picture of you right then and there, so instead I fished the camera out of my pocket and handed it to you._

"_What's this?" You asked me and I'm pretty sure I laughed. Come on Stiles, anyone could see it was a camera, you're not that ahead of me in the technology race._

"_It's a disposable camera, come on, let's go on an adventure!" _

_I waited for a few seconds for you to throw on your shoes. If you had plans with someone else that day, you didn't say, you just walked out of your house behind me, my hand wrapped around your wrist as I dragged you into the wonderful, beautiful world all around us. I had a goal._

"_London, seriously, what's up?"_

"_There's still pictures on it Stiles, I don't want to waste them!" I didn't, I hate being wasteful, which is kind of funny (not in the joking, happy kind of way) considering I wanted to kill myself. Talk about being wasteful, right?_

"_So, do you have a plan?" You always seemed to think things through more than I did. My plan was to be spontaneous, can you plan to be spontaneous? Probably not, but that's unimportant, I will admit that I didn't really have a plan, all I knew was that I wanted to hang out with you and take pictures of beautiful things around me._

"_If you find something picture-worthy, you let me know." Those were my half-assed instructions. _

_Eventually you wiggled your arm out of my grasp but then you took hold of my hand, our fingers intertwining together. If I had been paying more attention, been slightly more focused on you and me in that moment, I might have realized exactly what you had done. It wasn't just you taking my hand Stiles, it was you, holding on to me so that we could have an adventure, together._

"_Well I think your idea of picture-worthy and my idea of picture-worthy are probably different." Oh Stiles, you were partially right. You're ideas of picture-worthy were immensely different but what you didn't know was that anything you thought was deserving of being captured on film was most certainly enough for me._

"_Just keep your eyes open." I grumbled but we walked along the sidewalk, hand in hand, my eyes were scanning the environment around me, you, I assume, were doing the same. It was only comfortably silent for a few minutes before you pointed to your right._

"_Old man walking his old dog!" Stiles, the look on your face at the sight of that old, decrepit man walking along slowly behind the grayest dog I've ever seen, well, to put it nicely was hilarious. You got so excited about that man and his dog._

_Little things thought right? I totally get it now._

"_It has to tell a story Stiles, it can't just be something random." I wasn't totally right, random things sometimes are the best. I should have let you take the camera, I should have let you capture that old man and his old dog. If it would have put a smile on your face time and time again, I would have let you take pictures of nothing at all._

"_I'm sure he has a story."_

"_I'm sure he does too but that's not something I can tell my kids one day when they're looking at the pictures that I took on this camera. It has to be a story I can tell, a story that will bring back the memory of how and why the photo came to be."_

"_And you can't just tell them this story, the one about how you showed up to my house and dragged me out the front door so that I could help you take pictures?"_

"_That's not very exciting." I shouldn't have argued, I should have just taken the picture and given it to you, looking back on it now I should have filled the remaining pictures with anything and everything that you pointed out._

"_Okay fine."_

_And that was that. We continued to make our way to the lacrosse field, you pointed out interesting (yet not photo-worthy) scenes but there was nothing that I agreed with. I'd point things out too but you'd easily talk me out of them. We went back and forth like that the entire way and finally we made it to the bleachers._

_The field was empty, there wasn't anyone in sight but that's how I liked it. Spending time, just you and me, was the best thing ever this summer. Thank you for that, thank you for wanting to spend time with me. I really do appreciate it, even if you think that it wasn't a big deal, it meant the world to me._

_So there we sat, side by side in a comfortable silence, just looking out at the vibrant green grass, basking in the warmth of the summer sun. _

"_Let me see that." You broke the silence and without even thinking about it, I handed you the camera. I didn't know what you were planning and I didn't think you were going to take a picture but you did._

_You readied the camera in front of us, your arm stretched to the max, and you shoved your body against mine. Before I could object, you poked me in the side and I let out a laugh, a smile gracing my face. It was at that second that you pushed the button on the camera, forever encapsulating that exact second on film._

_See Stiles, this is what I like about photographs. They're proof that once, even if just for a heartbeat, everything was perfect. _

_When I got the pictures developed and I saw that one of you and I, I just, I swear to god my heart stopped. I don't remember having a smile that genuine, that big, in a long time and it was all thanks to you._

_So even though I was depressed and fighting with myself constantly, there was a reason for me to carry on, a reason for me to wake up and get out of bed. You were one of those reasons, you cared about me, you cared about my well-being, my feelings, you wanted to spend time with me, you kissed me, you liked me. My mom, my family, the possibilities that lie ahead, those are some of the other reasons to get up in the morning. _

_Do you understand it now though, because I do. It took me a while to figure it out but I got it. _

_Everyone's just looking for reasons to wake up and get out of bed, some do it for nothing but a kiss, perhaps a cup of coffee, others have a harder time; no train to catch, no hand to hold, no reasons at all but if you can pull yourself out of sleep and make yourself get out of bed, there's nothing in the world that can hold you back._

_Thank you, a thousand times over Stiles, thank you so much for making me smile when all I wanted to do was cry. You made me move forward, you gave me hope, you put happiness into my life._

_Remember, no matter how you're feeling or what you're dealing with that you have to move on, somehow. You just pick your head up and stare at something beautiful like the sky, or the ocean, or an old man and his dog, and you move the hell on._

_Find what makes you happy, and if you can't do that, find what makes you get out of bed in the morning._

_Love always,_

_London Lee Parker_

Stiles quickly folded the letter back up, slipped it back into the envelope and stared at the photograph in his grasp. He knew that he'd never get tired of looking at it, her smile was contagious and he couldn't help but grin at the sight.

Relaxing into his pillows, Stiles let out a sigh of contentment and shut his eyes momentarily. He took a deep breath and let his mind just drift to London. The image that he saw in his head was nearly identical to the photograph. No matter what happened, no matter how London was feeling, he'd forever and always remember her as the happy, smiling, gorgeous girl in the picture, a picture that he silently vowed would wind up in a frame, just as soon as school was over and he made it to the mall to purchase one.

London deserved to be framed, to be put front and center on his nightstand in his room.

With one last letter left, Stiles couldn't fight back the smile that would be present on his lips every single time he looked at the photo of the two of them.

Soon enough, London's words would be read, the last letter folded up and put back in the box with rest. The last gift would be opened and Stiles would be able to finally climb under the covers and sleep.

Soon enough, Stiles would reach the end of the box and now he wasn't entirely sure he was ready for it.

Not long ago, he couldn't have waited until the last letter was read but now he didn't want it to be over, there was so much more he wanted to know, so much that London still had left to tell him.

With one single letter remaining, Stiles settled into his pillows, looking once more at the photograph in his hand. It would all be over soon and Stiles didn't know if he was prepared for her final words.

**_XxxxxxXxxxxxXxxxxxX_**

**_Author's Note:_**

**_There are not enough words to express how amazing each and every one of you are! Thank you so much for all the wonderful feedback! _**

**_If any of you are having a tough time with anything along the lines of depression or other mental illnesses, I'm always open to talk. I know it can be difficult, I've been there before._**

**_PassionForWritingAlex: While I have nothing against Malia, this character London fits with Stiles. I feel that they need each other in their lives and they balance each other out in a perfect way. You can tell me whatever you want lol, I always love hearing from you and your reviews definitely make me smile (little things right haha) I'm glad that you're learning...I guess lol, I don't want to preach or anything but I feel that London has a lot of good things to say. Yes Miguel! She's depressed not blind haha!_**

**_poorxbrokexcollegexkid: OH you're making me blush over here! Thank you, as always, for the wonderful review! Only one more London letter after this one :( _**

**_winchesterxgirl: OMG yes! It's not a completed review without that ;) I'm so glad that you loved it and it means so much to me that you review and say the things that you do! Even if she's not ready for a relationship, she still had to express how important he is to her. She knows that he's amazing and he's clearly helped her in her battle. How did you enjoy 9?_**

**_Questions, concerns, ideas that you want to see, you know what to do, just leave me a review or a PM and I'll do my best!_**


	11. Letter Number 10

_**Ten Reasons Why**_

_Summary:__ An algebra assignment, a three leaf clover, an air freshener, a prescription bottle, a Star Wars trading card, a bottle cap, a tube of lip balm, a toy car, a photograph and a roll of candy. These are the ten reasons why…_

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters of Teen Wolf, London however is all mine.**

_**Letter Number 10**_

With shaking hands, Stiles took hold of the last letter. It wasn't that he was scared, at least not entirely, he was nervous, anxious to find out what London's last letter was going to say.

When he opened the box hours ago he most definitely hadn't been expecting a look into her life, the struggles that she had dealt with on her own, the things she had kept secret for whatever reason. Not in the slightest. Stiles had always figured London was a happy-go-lucky girl without too many cares but he had been wrong.

Depression, the desire to commit suicide, those were things that he hadn't been expecting. He was aware that people like that were out there in the world but he never would have imagined that he had become best friends with one. It was one of those things, he hadn't paid much attention until it happened to someone close to him. London Lee Parker was starting to look like someone he barely knew at all.

She was a stranger yet with each passing letter he was slowly getting to know her, to understand her and he wasn't mad that she had kept everything from him. She probably figured he would have treated her differently and as much as he could deny it, part of him _knew_ that he would have, without a doubt.

He would have been a little more careful about the things he said to her, he would have treated her like she was breakable because in his eyes she was a little more fragile. London wasn't a weak person, not by any means, but Stiles could easily pinpoint times that he would have acted differently had he known about her depression.

With his trusty scissors, Stiles cut open the top of the envelope and nabbed the letter from inside. He studied it, still folded, and tried to figure out if it was longer, shorter or very much similar in length to the past nine letters that she had written him. There wasn't an obvious answer, he wouldn't know until he started reading but his assumption was that this last letter was neither super long nor super short.

The last trinket in the box was a cylinder shape and when Stiles grabbed hold of it, he studied the weight. It was lighter than he expected and now his mind was reeling. Without further ado, Stiles went ahead and roughly ripped the paper off, no longer prolonging it. When the paper was ripped off and the trinket free of the wrapping, Stiles found himself looking at a roll of the five flavour Lifesavers candies.

"What the hell?" Stiles cocked his head and studied the roll of candies.

Was the answer as obvious as Stiles was starting to think? Had she given him a roll of Lifesavers because he had 'saved her life'? Was it really that simple or was there some deep meaning that she'd have to explain to him in the letter?

He set the roll of candies inside the box with the rest of the gifts. There was no sense opening it, he'd end up eating every last one and with just over a few hours left to sleep before school, Stiles didn't want to end up with a sugar rush, or any stomach problems that would keep him from easily falling asleep.

Stiles readied the letter in his hands and slowly unfolded it. The writing looked exactly the same, the layout matched the rest of the letters, nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary. Taking one, giant, deep breath, Stiles found the first word on the page and started to read.

_Dear Stiles,_

_This is the end, the last letter, the big finale. There is no encore, there's not going to be a surprise plot twist, this, I promise you, is the only remaining letter that you have yet to read and I hope that it gives you everything that you were hoping it would give you._

_My objective wasn't to load you down with all this pent up information or to make you feel guilty about what you did or didn't do with regards to our friendship, this was simply a way for me to express what I was dealing with during the formation of our friendship._

_I was doctor diagnosed with depression and my counselor had asked me one time to explain what depression was like in my eyes._

_I used (and continued to use) the analogy that my life was a really nice, really comfy couch and as the years passed on it slowly started to wear out. At first it would just be one spring poking through the material here and there but now, after years of being used, the springs are poking out everywhere, but not only that but the material is tearing and ripping. Slowly the couch is falling apart and as much as you try to fix it, you just can't, it's too far gone and trying to fix it just makes it worse._

_I've gotten rid of that old couch, as much as it pained me, and now I have this new couch. I may not like it as much and it might not be quite as comfortable but one day it'll get there. I'll look back at it and accept that the old couch had to go because it was just hurting me when I sat on it and it was falling apart. I've got, not necessarily a better couch, but it's certainly not going to poke me with springs when I sit down and it'll be a little while before the material starts to get weathered._

_Even if I loved that old couch with everything that I am, there was nothing I could do to fix it, I couldn't make it better, it would never be the same as it once had. I had to do something to change my life._

_I'm sorry if I've somehow offended you or upset you, that wasn't my intention when I set out on this little adventure of writing to you. I honestly hope that maybe you understand what I was going through, that you get why I didn't say anything about what I was dealing with but if you're irritated that I kept it all a secret, or if you're wondering why I didn't feel that I could trust you enough to let it all out, please don't take it personally, like I said earlier, it took my mom walking in on me sobbing uncontrollably for me to realize that there was clearly something that wasn't working out very well._

_I'd like to believe that I've come a long way since I sat down and wrote out that very first letter to you. I put a lot of time into creating these letters as well as picking out the perfect little trinkets to go along with them. I hope you can look back on them one day and see how truly amazing you really are. If someone had told me that I was amazing, I wouldn't have believed them but trust me Stiles, you really are and don't let anyone say otherwise. _

_Maybe now that we're reaching the end you're feeling scared or nervous even. Perhaps you're excited or happy that you've made it all the way through. I don't know how you're feeling; I could never begin to imagine the possibilities. I can't tell you what you're supposed to do but I can tell you this, I will be okay, I will make it through this tough time, I will be a better person for it and one day I will be able to say, and truly mean it when I do, that I am okay._

_That day that you caught my algebra homework as it flew away from me in the breeze, that same day that you sat down on those hard, uncomfortable bleachers, that wasn't the end Stiles, it wasn't even the middle. That was only the beginning. _

_My mom said something to me the other day and it's stuck with me, she said that t__here will come a time when you believe everything is finished and that will be the beginning, so thank you for helping me find my beginning. _

_You saved my life without even knowing it, you helped me get through some of the toughest times of my life and I cannot thank you enough. Ten letters and ten little gifts won't ever, ever, be enough to express how important you are to me, how important you've become. I could easily write a thousand more letters and they still wouldn't suffice. _

_I never imagined that one person could ever mean as much to me as you do. I never could have dreamed that I would have been able to get myself out of that place that I had become so used to being in. It was my own personal hell on earth. Looking back on it now, suicide would never have solved my problems, it would have eased my pain of course, but I would have hurt so many more people in the process. I wouldn't have left a legacy, I would have left a train wreck of broken hearts and that's not what I wanted, I just wanted to stop feeling so sad all the time._

_So maybe it's not always about trying to fix something that's broken, maybe it's about starting over and creating something better. _

_I'm still broken Stiles, but I think I'm okay with it now. I don't have to be put together all the time, I don't have to be happy every second of every day, I can be sad, mad, upset. I can get irritated with people, I can laugh at funny things, I can cry as often as I want so long as it's not too frequent and as long as it's not about things that I cannot control._

_Right Stiles, I was born to be real, not to be perfect._

_The sooner some people learn that, the better off they'll be. Perfect is an unattainable goal that no matter how hard I strive for it, I'll never reach it. Perfection is__overrated anyways. If you can't bear to live in the world, there's nothing wrong with seeking out guidance or asking for help. There are no set rules to life, some people struggle more than others, some people breeze by, it all depends on who you are and what you believe you're capable of. _

_Times will get tough, things will go bad but there will always be something worth carrying on for._

_You are my lifesaver Stiles. _

_I had made a vow that day, I had said to myself "__London, if even one person looks at you and just smiles, maybe you should reconsider this whole suicide plan" and you did. You smiled at me, you looked at me, you saw me when I was invisible, you saved me. I don't want you to feel obligated; you don't have to continue to be my friend if you don't want to. You're allowed to walk out of someone's life if you don't feel like you belong in it anymore._

_But I will always treasure the time you willingly spent with me, don't get me wrong, this isn't me saying for you to leave me alone but I won't blame you or hold a grudge if you do decide to walk away from me. You have Scott as well as other friends, I can't imagine hanging out with a werewolf, that must be exhausting, so I get it if you need to step back._

_You helped me more than you could ever know, you gave me strength when I needed it, you let me talk when I felt like venting, you never once seemed to judge me for anything that I did or said, even though I gave you plenty of opportunities to do so. In the end you tried and you cared and sometimes, sometimes that __**is**__ enough._

_Part of me believed that there wasn't a single person left in the world who could provide me with anything that would make me feel less depressed, and yes, I was put on medication, I was doctor diagnosed, I have been to counseling but none of that would truly help without the idea that there are people out there who aren't complete assholes. The pills made me feel better but they didn't change the people around me. I know that now, I know that even if it's just one person on the entire planet, one person like you Stiles, the world is a better place. _

_L__ife is a funny thing if you really think about it. Honestly, there are things that don't make sense and things that make perfect sense. I won't get into that too much, there are way too many thoughts and ideas that I have in regards to life but I do have some news for you, good and bad. __The bad news is, people are crueler, meaner and more evil than you've ever imagined. The good news is, people are kinder, gentler and more loving than you've ever dreamed. _

_So here's the end of my ten letters, my ten reasons why. __Ten moments, ten times when you unknowingly provided me with the desire to push forward, to keep going when sometimes all I wanted to do was to stop and give up. How could you have known what was really going on? No one really, truly, did, no one could possibly understand what I was dealing with but I didn't talk about it, I didn't want anyone to realize how desperate I was for anything good in my life. I was used to feeling alone and honestly even hell can get comfortable once you've settled in. That's over now though. I have found reasons to surge ahead, to push forward. _

_You Stiles, __**you**__ were the good in my life._

_Don't ever change who you are, don't become someone different, someone unrecognizable. I have faith that you're going to make a difference in the world, hell Stiles, you already have. You've helped me, you've made my life better just by being in it. I hope that one day you find someone who can appreciate you as much as I do, who will allow you to love them, unlike me, someone who is your perfect match. I hope that you will forever be happy but that doesn't mean you can't have days where you're less than that. _

_Be sad if you feel your heart breaking, be mad if something upsets you, I'm not saying that you have to be positive all the time, that you have to be cheerful, contented, delighted every second of every day. You're allowed to be miserable, disappointed and troubled just as long as you come back from that, as long as you don't stay there._

_I was stuck in a state of sadness for too long and it had gotten to the point where I didn't want to feel bad anymore. Promise me that if you ever experience something like that that you'll tell someone. Tell your dad, tell Scott, tell your cousin Miguel if you want, just swear to me that if you ever get to the point where you absolutely, honestly believe that suicide is the answer, you'll do something about it because it's not, it's never the answer. Things can get better, they will get better but you have to get there._

_People will surprise you, the world's not as cruel of a place as I once believed. You just have to push forward._

_So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about. _

_The little things matter the most. _

_Make your own luck. _

_Love openly and honestly, appreciate the people that you've got because who knows when you'll be seeing them for the last time._

_Life always offers you a second chance, it's called tomorrow, so make the most of the opportunities that you're given. _

_In the famous words of the greatest Jedi Master in my eyes 'do or do not, there is no try'. _

_Kiss with reckless abandon, make someone feel good about themselves when they look like they want to just give up._

_Apologize when you need to, stand strong if you don't. _

_People shouldn't get to push you around, they don't get to make you feel inferior (not without your consent anyways, that's how the famous quote goes, right?). You are in charge of you, no one else. You're the one who has the ability to change your circumstances but you're also the only one who can choose not to. Don't get stuck there._

_Sometimes you have to be sad for a really long time before you can be happy again. If you need pills to help with that, or if talking to a counselor makes a difference, no one can judge you for that, they don't __**get**__ to judge you for that. Some people need help, some people can't do it on their own and that's perfectly okay. _

_Take pictures often, remember the happy times but don't forget the sad. No matter how hard the journey seems and no matter how much further you have to go, stop, take a look at how far you've already come and know that whatever you've accomplished is worth something._

_I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be._

_I leave you with these final words, words that I hope will help you as much as you've helped me._

_Thank you Stiles, for saving my life._

_Love always and forever,_

_London Lee Parker_

Stiles let out a breath and just stared at the letter. He wasn't entirely sure if he was relieved that it was over or upset that she had felt the need to create the box.

London Lee Parker, the girl who would forever be a part of his life. She wasn't supposed to ingrain herself into his life as much as she did, she was a friend, first and foremost and he wouldn't trade her in for anything.

She had said that he could walk away from her in the letter but she had to know she was lying. There was no way he could go on living his life without her in it, there was no way he could carry on knowing how deeply he had affected her. London would be special to him forever and always, just like she had said.

A yawn escaped him but there was no way he was going to be able to relax enough to fall asleep, not without taking in the letters, letting the words that she had taken the time to write to him sink in. Stiles wasn't entirely sure what his plan of action was but he couldn't just show up at school in the morning and pretend that nothing had changed between them because the truth was everything was completely different.

**_XxxxxxXxxxxxXxxxxxX_**

**_Author's Note:_**

**_There's ONE more chapter (well I guess technically it's an epilogue...)! So hang around for just a little longer!_**

**_There are STILL not enough words to express how amazing each and every one of you are! Thank you so much for all the wonderful feedback, reviews, PMs, anything and everything! _**

**_If any of you are having a tough time with anything along the lines of depression or other mental illnesses, I'm always open to talk. I know it can be difficult, I've been there before. I know I say this every chapter but it's an important issue and I take it very seriously. It can be extremely hard but please hang in there._**

**_PassionForWritingAlex: Yes, I wouldn't mind a Stiles and London in my life either! Oh, London's pretty adorable lol and she's pretty wise too! Well, there's the last letter for you, what did you think? Was it up to par with what you were expecting? _**

**_poorxbrokexcollegexkid: The best advice you say? She's pretty cool like that haha. I was recently at my grandparents house and found boxes upon boxes of slides! Talk about old school eh? She is her own person, she would most definitely be okay on her own, but Stiles just makes everything better! _**

**_winchesterxgirl: Woo! You keep photographs alive! I love just sifting through pictures and being able to actually feel that photo in my hand! Excited and anxious eh? Well I hope that this letter, as well as the next chapter are enough to make the wait worth it!_**

**_Now that London's letters are done, how are you guys feeling? Is there anything, any piece of advice, maybe a quote from a letter, that really stuck out for you? _**


	12. Epilogue

_**Ten Reasons Why**_

_Summary:__ An algebra assignment, a three leaf clover, an air freshener, a prescription bottle, a Star Wars trading card, a bottle cap, a tube of lip balm, a toy car, a photograph and a roll of candy. These are the ten reasons why…_

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters of Teen Wolf, London however is all mine.**

_**Epilogue: **_

"Scott! Hey Scott, have you seen London?"

Stiles was nearly frantic as he rushed into the front doors of the school and ran after his best friend. He had his backpack hanging off one shoulder and a perturbed look on his face. When Scott turned to face him, he smiled in greeting but immediately caught the look of distress from his friend.

"London, no, not today, why?" Scott countered and glanced at Stiles, throwing him a sympathetic smile.

"I need to talk to her." Stiles answered and peered around the hallway, desperate to lay his sights on the girl in question. "She uh, she left me this box last night and I just, I need to make sure she's okay."

"A box?"

"Yeah, she wrote me some letters-"

"Letters?"

"I'll show you later but I really need to talk to London."

Scott took a whiff of the air and tried to lock onto the familiar scent of London Parker but there was nothing more than faint traces of her lingering in the halls from before summer vacation. He barely picked up on it but it was there, under the overpowering new scents from the students rushing through the halls.

"Sorry man, I haven't seen her at all this morning and I can't smell her either."

Slapping his pal on the shoulder in a friendly gesture, Stiles took off down the hall and headed for his homeroom. Scott was quick to follow, the two boys taking seats next to each other in the nearly vacant classroom.

Seizing his opportunity, Stiles locked his eyes on the classroom door and prayed that London would make it into his homeroom class soon. There was a chance that she had some other teacher for first period but Stiles didn't want to believe that, he just wanted to lay his eyes on London and know that after everything he had read the night before, that she was okay.

Stiles peeled his eyes off the door and looked at the clock, the minutes were ticking away and class was going to start very, very soon. He dropped his head to the desk with a groan and let out a small yawn. He hadn't been able to get to sleep very quickly after finishing letter number ten, no, instead he had stayed up quite a bit longer and written a letter of his own, his was addressed to London.

Scott leaned over in his chair and poked Stiles in the side, the lanky human sat up straight and latched his eyes back on to the door. Lydia and Allison marched through the doorframe and Stiles forced a small smile onto his lips. Leave it to Scott to get excited about a girl he wasn't _supposed_ to be seeing.

Before Stiles knew it, the bell had rung and the teacher, some new woman, wandered into the classroom spouting something about their English syllabus. Stiles fought off the urge to groan and dropped his chin to the desk, his eyes now locked on the woman at the front of the class, the idea of seeing London in homeroom quickly diminishing.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry that I'm late!" London's voice, her sweet, polite voice sounded out in the classroom and Stiles straightened up in his seat, his gaze meeting hers.

"Miss…"

"Parker, London Parker."

"Miss Parker, I'm going to have to send you to the office-"

"I was just there, they gave me this to give to you." London produced a salmon coloured piece of paper and extended it towards the teacher. The woman leading the class took it out of her hand and began to look at it, reading it silently.

"Take a seat." The woman grumbled and London flashed a smile in the teacher's direction.

Stiles couldn't tear his eyes off her as she wandered down the aisle that he was sitting in. She was dressed differently than he was used to, a snug fitting pair of blue jeans adorned her bottom half, a fresh pair of converse sneakers on her feet and an off the shoulder, lavender coloured sweater completed the look. Stiles also noticed that her hair was half pulled back and out of her face. It was almost like looking at a new London.

As she wandered down the aisle between the desks, he bent over and ripped his backpack open. He threw his hand in and dug around inside, grasping the envelope and the box that he had wrapped to go with it.

Before she had a chance to sit down in the empty desk behind him, he placed the gift and the envelope on top of it, watching as she cocked her head at him. Stiles gave her a lame little shrug and turned back around to face the front of the classroom, tuning his ears into whatever it was the teacher was saying.

London dropped into the empty chair and set her bag on the floor beside her before taking the envelope in her hands. She noticed his messy handwriting on the front and smiled at her name adorned there. Before she could open the letter, she set it back on the desk and quietly slipped her nail under the seam, slicing the tape there.

She stealthily peeled the paper away from the brown, cardboard box and glanced up at the teacher. She was spewing something about Shakespeare or some novel they were set to read, but London didn't care. She pulled the lid off the box and tried not to smile at the disposable camera tucked tightly inside.

Her fingers ran over the front of the envelope and slowly London lifted it up, tearing the end off the envelope and grabbing hold of the letter inside. She fought off the urge to cry at the effort that Stiles had put in and forced a smile onto her face at her name scribbled at the top of the piece of paper.

_London,_

_I don't really know how you wrote ten of these but this is my letter to you. I'm not going to tell you how lucky I am to have you because truth be told, I'm not lucky, I'm honoured London. I am honoured that you chose me as the one person who counted. You could have brushed me off that day that I helped you with your algebra assignment, you could have gone back on your deal with yourself but you didn't. No one else knew, except for you, that you vowed to not kill yourself if just one person smiled at you._

_If I knew all it would take to save a life was a smile, maybe I'd do it more often. _

_I'm sorry that you had to go through that alone and I'm not mad at you or upset that you didn't think you could tell me, I'm just relieved that you're still alive and I'm proud to call myself your friend._

_You have it rough, I wasn't aware that your dad walked away from your mother, I was clearly oblivious to the fact that you were suffering from depression but none of that would have mattered to me, I liked you for you and nothing will ever change that._

_You're my friend: today, tomorrow, forever and if you don't believe that I think you're worth having in my life then this is your wake up call._

_I like you London, with all your faults, your moods, your secrets, I like it all. You're one of a kind and you're a pretty good kisser too._

_I get it though, why you don't want a relationship, why you maybe don't think you deserve it but I want you to know that I can be patient, I can wait if you think that one day I have a chance to be more than just your friend. _

_But even if all we'll ever be is __**just**__ friends, I'll still take that._

_I don't want to lose you, I don't want to walk away from our friendship. I want us to grow, to become closer and maybe one day you and I can be just as close as I am with Scott but we'll never know unless we give it a chance._

_So here I am, extending a hand to you, an offer that no matter how hard it gets or how crazy our future turns out to be, I want you in my life. _

_I'm not going to let you go, I won't ever pretend that I don't know you because I know how honoured I should be to have a girl like you in my life. I love you and not quite in the totally romantic way but I love you as a friend. I love the way that you smile when you're truly happy (thank god that was captured on film so I can look at it every day), I love the way you see joy in the little things (because they're what really matter, right?). I love how you teach me things every single day that I'm with you and there's nothing in this world that will change that._

_I want- no need you in my life London and if you need me for a completely different reason then so be it. I can be your shoulder to cry on, I can be your jester if you need a laugh. Whatever it is that will make you feel better, I want a chance to be it._

_You're the hero of this story, you don't need to be saved but I want you to know that if you ever need a sidekick, I'm always available._

_I guess we both had our secrets, you were suffering from depression and my other best friend is a werewolf but I think we can both agree that there's not a lot left that either of us have hidden away. That being said, you should probably be aware that my cousin Miguel isn't really my cousin. His name is Derek Hale, he's actually a werewolf too but you can't tell him I told you that, he'd probably rip my throat out if he found out._

_We're getting off topic though, I believe that we don't meet people by accident, they are meant to cross our path for a reason and maybe that reason was to keep you alive and in my life, maybe being friends with you helped make me a better person. It doesn't matter, I'm glad that your homework got away, I'm glad that I caught it and I'm most definitely glad that you were having trouble with algebra proofs (okay that came out wrong, you're not stupid or anything and I wasn't trying to imply that I just mean that if you understood the proofs then you wouldn't have needed my help and our friendship wouldn't have evolved…I'm rambling, sorry, back to the letter). _

_What you really need to know is that I will believe in you, I will believe in you even if no one else does and even if you don't believe in yourself. I want you to know that no matter what I will believe that you are meant for greatness._

_You're a beautiful person with a beautiful soul and I just hope that one day you can be free from the things that may hold you back. I believe that you will beat this depression, I have faith that you'll overcome the whole ordeal and be a better person because of it. _

_I just wish that you had never felt that way to begin with, that you realized how much you meant to the world without having to go through that. _

_I'm sorry that I didn't notice you until that day, that's probably my biggest regret when it comes to you. It makes me feel terrible that I went as long as I did without knowing you but I'm glad that I did eventually get that chance. You are wonderful, perfect in every way._

_Did __**you**__ know that the most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths? Beautiful people don't just happen._

_London you were meant for great things, you were made to be in the world and if you ever feel like you don't belong, I will be there, ready to pick up the pieces, to try to put you back together and if I can't then I'll settle for being there for you and I hope that that will always be enough._

_I'm taking your advice from here on out, I will make sure I appreciate the little things, I will make my own luck, I'll wear my heart on my sleeve and kiss with reckless abandon. I will love like there's no tomorrow because who really knows when our last moments will be._

_I want to be a part of your journey, I want to take a chance with you and I hope you'll take a chance with me too. Trust me, we make a pretty good pair._

_So I leave you with this present, this brand new, unused disposable camera because I want to make memories with you (and not in the weird, sexual ways). I want to be there with you when you are happy, when you are sad and everything in between. I want you London for everything that you are._

_Take this camera, capture those perfect moments forever._

_Here's to making new memories London and I really hope you choose to make them with me._

_Sincerely yours,_

_Stiles Stilinski_

London let the letter fall flat against the desk and she tore her eyes away it, locking them onto the teacher. She had written a bunch of things on the board but London wasn't concerned, she'd get the notes from someone else, hopefully Stiles was taking them down.

When she looked at the clock, she let out a low gasp and realized that class was almost over now. She had lost herself in the letter and now she had completely missed the first class of the year.

Seconds later the bell rang and London gently shoved the letter into her book bag. She tucked the disposable camera into the side pocket of her sweater and gracefully made her way to her feet. Stiles turned to face her and she shied away from his piercing gaze.

Without another second of hesitation, she let out a sigh and brushed past him, heading right for the hall, Stiles clambering after her.

She continued on her way and finally came to a stop at her locker, her hands going to work on the lock that had been placed there earlier. Stiles casually leaned against the neighbouring locker and stared at her, waiting for her to look in his direction.

"Stiles…" London murmured and twisted her upper body to face him. She reached into her pocket and grabbed hold of the camera, pulling it out quickly and poising it in front of her eyes.

"Yeah London?" He asked, trying to mask the nervousness in his voice.

"Say cheese." She giggled and pushed the button, snapping a photograph of Stiles Stilinski who was looking at her as though she had seven heads.

Slowly she lowered the camera and smiled at him, taking a step forward and closing the gap between their bodies.

"I'm not entirely sure what the story behind that picture is but-"

"Little things." She grinned. "Your face makes me happy."

"What does that- hey, wait, is that, is that a good thing?"

London leaned towards him and slipped her hand into his, tucking the camera back into her sweater pocket with her free hand. He relaxed his fingers as they intertwined with hers.

"It's a great thing." She remarked and tucked herself against his body. "A really great thing."

"Well okay then." He nodded firmly and met her eyes.

"By the way, I always knew that Miguel wasn't really your cousin." She chuckled and leaned her head against his shoulder. Stiles let her curl up against his side and relaxed at the feeling of her hand intertwined with his.

"You- what- how?"

"Stiles I've lived here for quite a while now, I heard all about the Hales and the fire that destroyed their house. I'm not stupid." London remarked and let out a sigh.

"I never said you were."

"I know. Although the fact that Derek Hale is a werewolf is news to me."

"I figured you'd find out eventually, no more secrets okay?"

"Okay." She breathed out the word and looked around the hallway quickly.

London made a move to pull away but he held onto her hand tight and slipped his free arm around her shoulders. A small hum escaped her throat and she placed a quick kiss on the side of his neck, Stiles fighting back a contented moan.

"Thank you." She whispered and nuzzled her nose against his skin, directly where she had just kissed seconds ago. "I mean that, from the bottom of my heart."

"Uh, you're welcome, although I'm not entirely sure what for-"

"Just for being you Stiles. You're perfect, in fact you're exactly what I need."

"Don't sell yourself short London, you're pretty much what I need too."

"Thank you for being my friend and for not giving up on me." London pressed. "I guess now you know how important you were to me this summer. There aren't even words that can express how thankful I am to have landed a friend like you."

"I will never give up on you, believe me when I say that. You're way too special to let get away."

London felt her cheeks flushing at his words. So her life wasn't perfect, she wasn't done battling her demons but with Stiles by her side, she knew she could do it. After a few seconds of silence between them, she pulled away from him, dug the camera out of her pocket and extended it to him.

"What do you want to do now?" He asked softly, his voice barely louder than a whisper. "We can skip off for the rest of the day if you want, hang out, maybe we can try kissing again…"

"Stiles." She groaned but a smile took up residence on her face and she let her arm go lax, the camera falling to her side.

"Okay, but I will wait for you, if you think there's even a remote chance-"

"One day." London chuckled. "Now come on Stiles, let's go make some new memories."

"Can we grab Scott?"

"Of course we can grab Scott!"

Stiles grinned at her and before he knew what was happening, she had her hand latched onto his wrist, dragging him behind her.

Yes, as long as Stiles had London, there would definitely be some new memories to be made.

**_XxxxxxXxxxxxXxxxxxX_**

**_Author's Note:_**

**_Aw, I hate this part, the part where I have to say goodbye and so long because this story is over! I will miss you all and I really do hope that you enjoyed London's story. I am honoured that there are so many of you out there who have not only read but also been able to relate to what she was going through and I appreciate all the wonderful reviews and conversations that I've received because of this story!_**

**_Thank you all SO much!_**

**_One last time: i_****_f any of you are having a tough time with anything along the lines of depression or other mental illnesses, I'm always open to talk. I know it can be difficult, I've been there before. I know that I've said this every chapter but it's an important issue and I take it very seriously. It can be extremely hard but please hang in there._**

**__****_winchesterxgirl: Ah no, don't be tearing up! How are you supposed to read if your eyes are blurry from tears!? :) London would become an integral part of Stiles life and because of that she'd get pulled into the supernatural world too. She'd be right there with Stiles, for the most part anyways, while he works hard at helping Scott. So she'd end up being in on the conversations from here on out. I can see London instituting a 'let's keep the supernatural talk to a minimum when we're together', simply because she has enough on her plate, however that doesn't meant she'd NOT talk about it at all. Maybe in the future, the near future, their friendship would grow and blossom into a relationship. The rest of the pack would probably accept her and try to ease her into everything as best as they could. Lydia would eventually give her a little pep talk (much like the one she gave Kira), Scott would eventually call her a great friend, Derek would probably approve of her simply because she's logical and reasonable. I think everything would work out okay for her, I think she'll finally be able to find happiness. Thank you so much for your reviews and comments!_**

**_PassionForWritingAlex: The fact that you have been a loyal reader/reviewer from the beginning is enough for me! I appreciate every single word that you've written in your reviews! I put a lot of effort into making sure that her words made sense with her situation and that it came across in the right way. I'm glad that you can take these words and relate them to yourself and your life. I'm so honoured that you said those things about London, she's my inspiration and I hope that she can continue to be an inspiration to others as well! Always be real, not perfect! That has become my motto :) I'm glad that you felt that you could open up and talk to me and say the things that you did in your reviews! I hope that you continue to enjoy, even though London's story has come to an end :(_**

**_poorxbrokexcollegexkid: Thank you so much for every single review that you've submitted for this story! Thank you for your thoughts and ideas in order to help me get this story to the position it's in now and thank you for all of your reviews! _**

**_nessafly: If it's not okay, then it's not the end haha, right? Well, London is okay, she'll be okay and I hope that you enjoyed the epilogue, or more appropriately the final chapter! Thank you for reading this fic and I'm so glad that you enjoyed it! _**

**_Thank you all for taking the time to read this story!_**


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